YouTube Love

Kaitlynn's POV

I sighed not ready for another day. I hate school. I hate myself. I hate life itself. But I can't help who I am. I just have to learn to except it. I'm 5'9, curvy, Long silky,smooth black hair, and hazel,blue/green eyes. Their pretty bright.

Though I don't feel bright. My mom says I have no reason to not like my appearance. She says I'm beautiful, but that's not what the kids at my school pose me to be. They say I'm different and will never be the same as them. That I'm worthless. I get picked on everyday and no one will give me a reason why.

I have no friends and that's not ok. Though my mom says it's ok. Nothing will ever be ok. I have cuts on my wrists, that's not ok. I hide them with two large bracelets on each wrist. I don't wear long sleeves because come on he real. Everyone would figure that out in a matter of seconds.

I stand to my feet as I glance at my appearance in the mirror. Today is the last day of school until summer break here in California. It's pretty hot outside so I'll wear something comfy. I slid on some short shorts that were light blue and a light pink crop top. I put on my light pink sandals. I straightened my black hair and left it down.

I put on my light blue flower earrings. I grabbed my bag and headed down stairs. All I have to do is get through this last day of school and then no more school for months. I smiled at the thought and walked into the kitchen where my mom was eating an apple while on her phone.

"Mom I'm off to school" I piped sticking my head into the kitchen.

"Ok, why so happy?" She asked curiously.

"Last day of school" I smiled biting my lip.

"Should've guessed that was the reason. You don't get this happy for nothing" she laughed as I did the same.

We bid our goodbyes and I was off. It only takes five minutes to walk from my house to the school so it wasn't too much for me. Once I was there I signed looking at all the student start to pile into the schools old squeaky red doors. I will not miss Chester High that's for sure.

I walked into the school, my little smile and piece of happiness total vanished as people stared at me as I walked to my locker. Its just like the first day of school all over again. I hate it. I hate it. I really fricking hate it. I made it to my locker , getting the books I need.

The bell rand and I hurried off to my class. Ignoring the rude remarks I got from mean snobby girls. I walked my way to the very back and took a seat. I watched as people piled into the room.

"Look who got all dressed for the last day of school" josh the jock of the school pouted as he looked me up and down.

"Shut up Josh" I snapped.

"Ooooh, and she's gotten rough" he smirked at me.

"You sick bastard" I snarled at him.

"Oh shut up you can't hurt me if you tried. You ugly, insecure, piece of shit" he snapped at me as I shrunk back into my seat.

Sometimes it's best to be quiet. When I try to stand up for myself it never works. I always get shut down. Our teacher walked in and I dozed off into space .

"Students the rest of class time is yours" mr.McMarry smiled.

Girls for into their little groups having the best time as boys did the same. I just sat in the corner alone and no one even noticed me. I just sat there and dribbled down in my scratch book.

Let's skip to the end of the day shall we.......

I breathed in the Fresh California air as ran home. I want so excited to be home. I couldn't wait to make a YouTube video about it all. Oh I forgot to mention. I'm a YouTube freak.

I stumbled into YouTube 5 years ago when I was having major problems in middle school. I was going through a rather tough time then. It has gotten better if I do say so myself. I mean it had decreased. Ever since YouTube, I've become confident with myself. Though I always point out my flaws for some reason.

All my fans are so caring and kind and i love them for that. They are there for me when no one understands. I walked up my driveway seeing my moms car gone. Telling me she's off to work. That means she's gonna work an all nighter. I pulled the spare house key from under the rock in the bushes and unlocked the door placing it back there.

I walked in closing and locking the door behind me. I jogged up to my room and started setting up my filming equipment. I smiled one I found that my lighting was perfect. I pressed record and started talking away.

"Hi guys as you know today was my last say or school before summer break! Boy was I happy. Can you believe this year is finally over? Well I sure can... Though you guys know by now that I don't have any friends to say goodbye to. I have gotten better with myself. And I'm still processing and trying to accept myself as I am. I think that I'm finally starting to realize that I'm gonna have to accept that everyone isn't the same. No one will ever be the same.

Everyone is different and that's what makes us unique. I have to you know accept myself, I shouldn't care what other people think of my appearance and the way I dress and carry myself. And now that I think of it. I don't care what anyone thinks of me anymore. I should just be me. Sorry I think I'm gonna cry" I paused fanning my face as I let out a sob.

"But I think that people judge other people for no reason at all. And I don't know the reason. When they say mean things to me as they punch and kick me. I have no clue why they do it. when they slam me against the locker, all I do is think..Why do they hate me? Why do they treat me like this? Did I do something wrong? I bother no one." I cried into my hands as I tried to finish the video.

"You must think I look crazy, crying like this. But I feel like complete shit and I can't help it" i sobbed with a breathy laugh. I wiped my tears and say up straighter.

"Well..thank you to all who took the time to actually watch this video. If your going through the same thing, just know. It gets better. Trust me, it does. Just believe in yourself. Don't believe the things people say to you. Keep your head up and be strong. Turn the other cheek and move along" I smiled and waved goodbye as I clicked the camera off.

I edited the footage and posted it. I closed down all my filming equipment for tonight and took a shower. I sat in bed watching movies and eating for the rest of the day as time passed by.

I found myself getting sleepy as my eyes were fighting to stay open. I finally let my eyes close and I found myself drifting off into a deep slumber.