Why is it .. that my father only rots in jail.
While I'm out here feeling out of place in my own body. After what he did for three years. Why does his brother also only rot when he SA'd me when I trusted him. I hate half of my family. It fucking sucks cause your body doesn't feel like yours anymore..and it feels my dad stole it away from me. I was 10. 10 years old. 10 years old, being forced on my knees being told to "suck" or he would force me naked and stick it in. Why is it fair. Why is it fair that I still feel his godamn hands on me and him in me. Why Why Why. And I let this go on for three years.
For three years he would bribe me to do it or force me to do it otherwise I'd be punished for a month over something small. I was manipulated into doing it. Godamn I feel like such a slut. I hate how I can still feel his hands all over me. All over my chest. His mouth on mine. On my chest. I can't escape it.
It feels like I'm forcing myself to do stuff just to survive. I force myself into nsfw rps and can't do it anymore. I'm just lost. I need help. I feel like my life isn't mine anymore. That bastard took it from me. I hate myself so much.. cause a part of me misses the good dad he was. I feel like I was made to be used by men. My bodys just there..to be touched yknow?
