We Didn't Make It

Chapter 2

MONTE
(don't play song until mentioned)

High.

I'd say I'm damn near high all the time.

It calms me, frees me, relaxes me. Let's me almost escape from this fucked up ass world.

Everybody always thinks I'm just a mean ass nigga for no reason, but that ain't it. Feelings get you hurt, for real. Last thing I'm tryna be is hurt.. again. It's like a sharp pain in your chest, my stomach feeling all nasty. My thoughts rushing through my head.. not knowing how to accept the feeling.

I been hurt a lot in life, in ways I don't even wanna explain.

Es.. especially when.. nevermind.

I've learned to push through, I've learned to ignore it. I stopped entertaining bull shit, I stopped caring. I still got some hurt in me, but I just smoke that shit away. It's all I can do.

Really, all I can.

I got myself though, I always will. I made a promise. If ain't nobody got me, I got me. But I'ma make it through, some how I'ma find my calling in life. Cause this shit getting dead for real, so somewhere or someday.. maybe all this shit will make sense.

Maybe.

"Damn nigga! Pass the weed back!"

Scar's voice snaps me back into reality. At this party. Sitting in one of the living rooms. Playing truth or drink with Scar, Dre, Michael, and some ho's that's trying too hard to look good.

I look at Scar, him looking back at me then tilting his head. Looking down at my hand.

I ain't realize I was still holding the blunt, I hold it out to Scar, he snatches it out of my hand. Dumb ass nigga.

Scar been my dawg for a minute now, since the summer after I graduated high school. We just, clicked. It was random, out of no where.

Sometimes, not gon' fake it... I feel like he was sent to me. I ain't have nobody. It's like the world knew what I needed, he came at the right time. And was exactly what I needed. I remember that day like it was fuckin' yesterday...

*****

"I cant do that for you man, how else I'm posed to explain that?"

I look up from the row of hot fries and funyons and peak to the front of the store. The cashier and some dude arguing about fuck knows what.

"C'mon dawg, it's one lil favor. Help a brother out." The man continues to beg, but the cashier just shakes his head.

"You bout to piss me off, you really are. I said no! Now please, please leave the store." The cashier starts to get loud. I grab my 3 bags of hot fries before heading up to get in line behind the customer.

"So you really ain't gon' help me out? That's how you feelin'? That's some bull shit. If it was you I would help you out. You ain't shit, man." The customer continues, and the cashier frowns.

"How you gon' come in here all mad and broke, then have the nerve to get even more mad that I'm not engaging in yo' broke tivities!" The cashier fusses, my mouth lowkey drops but I pick it back up. That was a lil funny.

I cant see the man's face, but I just know that ticked him off. Shit, I would've been jumped over the counter.

"What the fuck you just say to me, nigga?" The man starts reaching inside his pocket, the cashier standing there with a straight face. But I think we both know where this is going.