all i see is you (jikook)

seven

"Not knowing."

Jungkook didn't move an inch, didn't say another word for several seconds. As he collected his thoughts, Jimin waited for him to continue.

"Not knowing... what I'm feeling. What will happen if I listen to my feelings. Where these feelings came from, or how long I've even had them for."

And suddenly, just like that, everything was out in the open, laid bare for both to see. There was no backtracking now; his words couldn't possibly be misconstrued to mean anything else, and he couldn't hide behind them.

Jimin finally turned around to face him.

"To name a few," Jungkook added belatedly under his breath, a futile attempt at lightening the tense mood. "And you?" He searched Jimin's face, tried to decipher that impossible-to-read expression. "What are you scared of?"

Jimin stared right back, but he stared as though he could see through each and every one of Jungkook's insecurities, knew everything he was thinking. Jungkook hoped that he could. It would be a million times easier than trying to verbalize the confusing whirlwind of emotions currently swirling around like a tornado inside of him.

Jimin laughed suddenly, and the unexpected noise caught Jungkook off guard. It sounded uncomfortable, nothing like his usual enigmatic laughter; this noise was hollow, too high-pitched and out of place.

"I thought about you, you know? Every moment since...." He trailed off, shrugging. "I thought about the timing of it all. How it must have been fate, or—I don't know, some sort of higher power intervening that day, the members coming in when they did. Stopping us from doing something we'd both regret. Stopping a bad decision, a... mistake."

And there it was, in perfect clarity. Jungkook blinked as the straightforward words sank in, his shoulders sinking right along with them.

Well, at least he'd finally been given an answer to the question he'd waited three agonizing days for, and in no uncertain terms. Though a large part of him had expected this outcome, he hadn't anticipated it to feel like someone reaching inside his body and roughly grabbing hold of his heart, only to yank it out with all their might.

"But...." Jimin continued his speech, tilting his head slightly and leaning his back against the door.

But?

"Then, I thought about the words you said to me. The look in your eyes when you said them. Thought about... different possibilities, scenarios that could have followed those words... if the situation had been different." His line of sight fell to Jungkook's mouth, and his voice grew quieter. "I tried not to." Jimin's tongue darted out to wet his lips. Jungkook's attention inadvertently flicked down to them, his eyes drawn to their full, round shape. "Fuck, you have no idea how hard I tried not to."

Hearing the boy's relenting tone and observing the way he seemed to be quickly unraveling in real time right before him, surrendering to his emotions and giving them free rein, Jungkook felt emboldened like never before. Could it be true? Had Jimin been miserable the past few days for the same reasons he had?

And, more importantly... was he admitting what Jungkook thought he was?

"You never answered my question," Jungkook murmured, desperately trying to keep his cool while his stomach performed gymnastics routines inside of him.

What are you scared of?

Jimin's eyelids closed, and he let out a shaky exhale. The air it expelled fanned gently across Jungkook's cheeks.

"All those things you said just now, about not knowing? The thing is, well... I do know. I have for a while. And, I...."

Jungkook's heart stalled.