A Summer Spark - A BoyxBoy Story

Chapter 6 - Smoke and Ashes

I rolled onto my back, silently watching the roof of the tent as shadows from the moonlight danced around on the fabric; swaying slightly in the wind. Kevin's snoring filled my ears once again; only this time it was welcome. It disrupted the silence that surrounded me, suffocated me; leaving me with my thoughts in the darkness.

I couldn't sleep and the night felt endless; my mind refusing to shut down for a second as it replayed the events of last night over and over again. He continued playing, pretending as if nothing was wrong; but not once did he look in my direction. I could tell by the look on his face that he was hurting and it was all my fault. He tried to push me away but I didn't let him and now I know I messed up.

The thoughts didn't only make me feel guilty; they also made me feel confused. The way his hand felt against my chest; the surprisingly soft texture of his lips as they pressed against mine. I know I'm not gay, or at least I thought I wasn't, all I know is that last night... I sighed, rubbing my face with my hands. Last night felt fantastic. I've never felt such electricity... such sparks kissing anyone else before and if I'm completely honest... it scares me more than anything else has in a long time.

It scared me that I didn't want to stop and it scared me even more that once I did; I wanted to go straight back over there and do it all over again. The only reason I stopped was because of the whimper that escaped his lips and the effect it had on me. I don't think a sound has ever had such an effect on me before. It scared me that such a simple thing gave me the desire, the need to kiss every inch of his skin. Every time I managed to shut my eyes any longer than a second I heard it, filling my mind and flooding my senses.

I dragged my hand down my chest, stopping over the spot where his hand pressed against me. I could still feel his fingers where they scrapped against my chest as his hands closed; lingering and unforgotten.

Was it all because of the alcohol? Or do I like him more than I'm brave enough to admit? It's the only thing that made sense at the moment. Is that why Imogen didn't affect me as much as I thought she would... she gave me a lap dance for god sake! I mean... it was hot but it just felt like such a distant memory compared to what happened with Chase. Was I falling for him? Is that even possible? I groaned, pushing the thought out of my mind for the hundredth time that night.

I rolled onto my side, pulling my arms closed around my chest. I squeezed my eyes closed only for my mind to be pulled back to the place of my insomnia. Throughout all of this, I couldn't help but wonder how Chase was feeling... was he going through the same as me?

...

I pulled a jacket around my body before opening the tent and stepping out. The sun rose up just beyond the dark silhouette of the tree's horizon, lighting up the sky in its wake. I still couldn't sleep and although it was cold outside, hence the jacket, there's only so much of Kevin's snoring one guy could take before he goes insane. My eyes instantly landed on the log where Chase lay on the log the morning prior; but not today. A part of me was glad but at the same time I wasn't. I wanted to see him, even if I had no idea what I would say to him or even if I would be able to say anything to him. I just wanted to know to know if he was okay... even if I was sure he wasn't. Would he even want to talk to me?

My eyes then drifted to his tent, would he still be in there? He had his own tent to himself which I'm a little envious of but at the same time I'm not because I'd imagine it to get a little creepy at night. Though if I had the choice between Kevin's snoring or a little creepy I know what I'd choose. I don't know where it came from but the thought to go over to his tent crossed my mind but I pushed it away without a second thought. It was possibly one of the stupidest ideas I've ever had; besides, I'm probably the last person he'd want to see.