Last Year of Seventeen

Chapter 18 - Peter Pan

The school year is moving faster than I wanted and so is my fake-dates with August. We were already on our fourth one before I even realized it. During our free period, she asked me if I have any plans for our second to the last fake date and I had so many planned out dates but none of them felt like the best suited one considering this is the last one that I will get to choose.

"Why don't you decide this one too and I'll pick out our very last date instead?" I finally told her. August pondered for a moment, her brows creasing in deep thought.

"You swear you're not going to try something funny on the last date?" She asked. Her eyes filled with uncertainty. After all this time, she still had her inhibitions with me.

I smiled and raised my pinky finger, "I swear August. If anything I'm just glad we're almost done with the first phase of the plan. My friends have been asking me nonstop if you're in love with me yet."

It was a lie of course. Well, at least the former. I wasn't close to happy that we are almost closing in on our fake-dating scheme. If it was up to me, I'd want to continue dating August for real. But even now, I am still unable to read her. And as much as I wanted to say I know her, it will be far from true. I still don't know what August wants.

There are days, she would look at me as if she'd chosen me in a sea of strangers. With her eyes so soft and a smile so warm that it would make my heart feel so full it would burst. We'd talk and she'd laugh that boisterous laugh I never see her do with anyone else. Sometimes, I tell myself I recognize it as the look of being in love. But then she'd be cold again, buried in her books and her notes and her part-time jobs. With her sarcastic remarks and detrimental sense of humor. And it makes me wonder if she feels like being around me is a menace. But then she's like that to everyone, even to those she's closest with. So I've learned not to let it bother me all that much. Because regardless of the August I meet each day, I like her either way.

The question really lies, if she'd like me more than as a friend. But August isn't like me. She has her entire future to think about. Not that I don't think about mine, but she has less room to make mistakes. I do not want to add to the burden she already carries. So I try to make this fake-dating scheme as fake as she can feel. So I don't burden her with what I really feel. I tell myself, I would settle for what she can give.

We're only friends. And I'll live with that.

"What do you tell them when they ask?"

I thought for a moment. It is true that Theo has been bugging me this past few days demanding to know what the score between August and I really is. And Dove and Raven have done nothing but continuously interview me every lunch hour on how it is to date the Academy's Ice Bitch. Even Arlo's attention has been piqued despite all his baseball matches.

"I tell them the truth. That you're helplessly falling for all my tricks."

I don't, of course. I am more discreet than that. I never answer them straightforwardly but I do say what I know they want to hear. Sometimes, I don't answer them at all. It's fun adding up to the mystery of my relationship with August. Truth be told, whatever I have with her feels too sacred to share with just anyone else.

August sticks out her tongue. The wrinkle of her nose made me think of the lost little girl I found under a dinosaur cave in Star Kingdom. She does look like her little self. I wonder now how I never made the connection.

"You lie." She said playfully. Nudging me gently while she rolled her eyes.

I laughed. If we were dating for real, I would've kissed her by now.

But we're only friends. I know. And I am learning to live with that.

August decided on our fourth date as we've discussed but she wouldn't tell me what and where it is. The only clue she gave me was that I might not like it entirely. We scheduled it right after the Academy's Foundation Day Celebration for reasons mostly since, one– she is the Vice President of the Student Council and; two– she's the Head of the Highbrows, so a lot of responsibilities are put unto her. I tried to help her as much as I could but my time was also divided because I have a duty as a friend and I am often required to watch Arlo's games. August didn't seem to mind when I was unavailable to assist her, saying "You have a real relationship with your friends while us dating is a scheme. Tell Arlo good luck on the match."