Silent Pain

Chapter - 28 - A Normal Life

                              JASON

Why is this happening with me again and again? Why I'm seeing him after all this years, and yet I get scared when I see him. I just feel like I'm nine years old boy again. He terrifies me. Like a coward I ran from the hospital. Kira was running behind me but I just ran out. I am feeling so weak. Everything was going fine....but everything gets messed up.

I locked my room. My head was exploding with all the painful memories. I can't forget those memories or his face, they still haunt me. I throw things off the table. I hit my head with my hand  to stop this pain. There's banging on the door but I ignore it. I pull my hair in frustation. There's pain, frustation, tears and saddness. I collapse down on floor. There's a soft voice calling out my name and it calms me down.

It's Kira's voice. The person who I don't want to lose at any cost. I want to open the door, hug her and cry out....but I won't. I don't know what will happen if she enters the room in this state. My mind is currently filled with so many things. I don't want to hurt her anyway. I almost lost her once but I'm not gonna lose her again. Right now, I think it's better if I'm alone sometime.
I'm sorry baby.

I hear Arlo's voice...he's here. He tells Kira to go to the hospital. She has a surgery to perform. At first she was hesitant but Arlo convinced her to go.

"Hey bro, you alright?", Arlo asked me.
"I don't know. I need some time alone", I bury my face in my hands.
"You're not alone. Open the door and let's talk about it, or I can call Mama?."
"No Arlo. I need some time."
"Take your time, but don't forget that we'll are here for you. Call me if you need anything."

I calm myself down without any thoughts in my mind. Kira will come home tonight and I need to talk to her about it. She cried because of me. I will talk to her when she comes home.

I washed  my face with water. I cleaned  the mess in the room which was made by me. I unlock the door. I walk in my garden to get some fresh air.

She is late today. This gives me more time to think of how I am going to talk  with her. I hear the sound of the car, she is home. I take few deep breaths. I hear her footsteps near the door. She slowly opens the door and I see her.

Her face is a bit down. The glow she had in her face was disappeared. By seeing her face I know she cried for me. Her eyes became moist when she saw me. She stood there in silence, I slowly approach towards her. We were few inches  apart.
"Baby-----
In a split second she clashes with my body. She hugs me as if it was our last time. She cries her heart out.

Fuck, I feel so guilty for what I did. I hold her more close to me and rub her back.
"I...I-I was so worried about y-you. Don't you d-dare do that a-again or I swear I will kick your ass."
"I'm sorry Kira. I-I just needed sometime I didn't wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry", she cups my cheeks in her hands and starts kissing my face and holds me tight in her arms.

I just thought about myself, god I was so selfish. She held me in her arms like she needed comfort from me, just like I needed from her.

"Did you had your dinner?", she asks me. I shake my head. She unwraps her arms around me and takes off her coat.
"Wait here, I will make something for you hmm", ahe was ready to leave, but I follow behind her and grab her hand.
"Let's make it together", I kiss her palm. She gives me her cute smile.

I helped her with slicing some vegetables. I sit on the barstool in front of her. I watch her while she is cooking. She manages everything so perfectly. But I can sense something is wrong. She didn't talked much and she's in her own thoughts. I think it's because of what happened today.

We both had our dinner. I'm resting on bed with my back against the headboard and waiting for Kira. She's been in the bathroom for quite a long time. I hear the door open and she comes out in her nightgown. Why she has to look so hot in that. I'm so caught up with my thoughts that I didn't realize that she is beside me and placed her hand on mine.