Alexithymia

Chapter 1 - the accident

ALEX
"Wake up Boo, you're going to be late." My girlfriend named Kel, who I dated for 5 years, shook me as I took the covers to block the sunlight from shining in my face. I groaned as she snatched the covers off. "Babe please let me sleep for 10 more minutes…" I begged but she could not stand my lazy behavior. "Alex Hudson. GET UP!" She whacked me and I got up immediately. "OKAY OKAY! Geez, since when did you get so strong…" I rubbed my back where she slapped me. "Get changed you lazy ass. We have a reservation at the restaurant at 7:30, don't be late. Love you dear." My girlfriend kissed me on the lips and pinched my cheeks. "Yeah yeah love you too hun." I laughed and kissed her back. She left off after the kiss. As I got changed, I was prepared for what is going to happen at the restaurant at night.
On this very day, I will be proposing to her. I took a day off from work to prepare beforehand because I am a forgetful person. Sometimes, I would hear the conversations that my girlfriend's colleague told me about. My heart was full of emotions, happy ones, that my girlfriend had dreamt of marrying me and getting puppies, raising them together. I knew she didn't like the idea of kids and so did I. She talks about how she wanted the marriage to be like. Sometimes, I would even see her go on shopping websites to see wedding dresses and add it to her favorites. She would also find opportunities to go to dog cafes with me when we had the time to. She would give hints to me about what dogs she would want, a Canine and a Pomeranian. Oh, how I love her way too much.

As I picked up the matching wedding ring, the woman who was at the cash register asked me: "How long have you been dating her? Or him?" I looked at her. "Her. It's been 5 years. Today I plan to propose to her today." I smiled at my response. "She's a lucky woman." The woman smiled and I walked out of the shop. I then picked up the flowers I had pre-ordered. I smelled the flowers with delight, these are the flowers she exactly wanted. People looked at me and whispered to each other, giggling. I was confident with my outfit. A navy blue tie, black blouse with black long pants. I sat in a cafe, practicing my lines for my proposal. I was more than prepared so I made my way out. I saw the sun set, it was mesmerizing and beautiful. I then took a taxi and made my way to the restaurant. I was excited and anxious at the same time. I then opened my phone and went to her messages. "I can't wait to see what you're wearing tonight :)!" I texted. She then typed out, "You're going to like it ;)♡" I laughed softly at her message. After a while, the cab driver turned to me and said: "Sorry sir but I can't drop you directly at the restaurant, there's road maintenance going on." I took out my wallet, taking the money that I needed to pay him. "No no it's alright! Here's $15. Thank you for the ride." I thanked him and got off. I saw the restaurant ahead of me. I also saw her. I tidied up my hair and tie, swiping my blouse to make sure I look fresh and neat. I hid the rings in my pocket and took a deep breath. Today will be the day she will be my fiancé. As the walking green man lights up, I crossed the road. Out of the blue, while I was in the middle of the road, a car was speeding and in a flash, the car hit me and the tires rolled over my leg, crushing the bones into what felt like a million pieces. The car then crashed into a traffic light. I screamed in pain and held my broken arm. Tears streamed down my face and stinging the deep cuts on my face. People started whipping out their phones, taking video and photos instead of calling 911. The man who crashed into me got out of the car, his head was bleeding. He looked like he was drunk driving. "ALEX!" I heard her voice. My breathing became more intense as I tried to stay awake. I don't want to die. I looked at my broken leg in horror, it was
twisted. The bones in there were already poking out of my flesh and skin.. I tried moving it but it hurt even more. I cried in pain. Someone save me. Get me out of this hell. I don't want to die, please. "ALEX! Stay with me! Alex no no no stay awake babe the ambulance is on the way." Kel caressed my cheek and I saw tears streaming down her face. "I don't want to die, please help me. I don't want to die.." I sobbed out. No words came out of her mouth as she saw my leg, gagging at the sight of the blood. I heard the faint sound of the sirens of police and ambulances. I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. "Alex? Alex!" She shook me but I slowly closed my eyes. I felt pain as I was carried on the stretcher. The oxygen mask was then placed on my mouth. I didn't know what happened as I blacked out afterwards.
I don't want to die, not yet.