Don't let her wait forever just b'cos you know she will
TIME TO MOVE ON. TIME TO LET GO. This is it. Ang sakit pala noh? Yung ginawa mo naman lahat pero hindi paren enough. Binigay mun yung lahat ng pwede mo ibigay, pero para sa kaniya wala paren yun. Ang hirap pumili kung tama na or go paren. Pero nakapagdecide na ako. Tama na. Sobra na eh. Sasabihin ko dito palang, hindi kami nagkatuluyan. Hahaha. Sayang nga eh. Sobra.
Ano nga ba nangyari samen? Hindi na din clear saken eh.
So, here's our story...
We are happy something. We are happy together. No commitment. No expectations.
Parang ang perfect na nga namen eh. Except, hindi kami. Hindi ko siya boyfriend. Hindi naman din niya ako girlfriend. Ang labo kasi namen eh.
Never pa ako nagkaboyfriend. Hindi pa kasi ako ready eh. Pero I think handa na ako. Bakit? Hindi ko din alam eh. Haha. Seryoso yun. Naramdaman ko lang na kaya kuna pumasok sa isang relasyon.
Him.
Hay. Hindi ko alam ano nagustuhan ko sa kaniya. Maybe dahil napakaresponsible niyang tao? Or maybe because he's the sweetest jerk in the world. I don't know. I don't know why I'm in love with him. But I know I am.
For 5 months we were like a couple.
Ano ba ginagawa ng mga couples? Yun din ginagawa namen. FOR FIVE FREAKING MONTHS. Matagal ba yun? For others, yes. Pero saken? Nope. When it comes to relationship, call me old-fashioned butI take it seriously.
For 5 months wala ako maalala na away. Laging nakakainisan lang. Party boy siya, party girl din ako (less I don't drink alcohol). Since pasaway ako, lagi siya nagagalit saken dahil sa mga suot ko or sa mga gala ko na late. I couldn't ask for more. Nasa kaniya na ata lahat ng gusto ko.
PERO EVERYTHING CHANGED.
I don't know when it started. But I know whatever-this-is-called is starting to fall apart. Nag-usap kami. I talked to him. Napapagod na ako kasi eh. Ako nalang lagi gumagawa ng paraan. Ako na lang gumagawa ng adjustments samen dalawa. May times na naffeel ko option lang ako. Sakit </3
We talked.
I cried, he didn't.
I tried, he didn't.
He wants me to wait for him. He told me he's not yet ready to commit.
But I can't wait for him forever without any assurance. I'm not that kind of girl.
I'm not strong enough I guess. Love isn't enough reason to stay.
I know I should stay but this is too much for me.
I need to be myself again. I forgot about myself since I fell inlove with him.
PRESENT.
After 2 months of letting go...
Here I am... with him.
He wants us to be official.
He told me he's ready to commit.
He told me he can't let go of me.
He told me he loves me.
“Sorry. This time I'm the person who's not ready to commit yet. I learned that I'm still not ready to enter a relationship because I'm not yet ready to feel the pain all over again.”
--- that's what I answered him.
After that, I left.
Yes, I still have feelings for him but right now I have to prioritize myself first.
I still have to love myself as a compensation for the loving myself less during that whatever-that-was.
