The Beginning After Everything

Prologue

"We need to talk."

These are the 4 scariest words anyone can say.

These are the 4 words that can cause your heart to skip a beat. And not in a good way.

These are the 4 words that causes a shiver down your spine and runs your blood cold.

These are the 4 words that everyone knows the meaning of.

These are the 4 words that could change everything.

And these are the 4 words that I never worked up the courage to say. Until he did.

Even before these words were mentioned, I could tell that things were rocky in the relationship. I first started noticing it when he left me on read and stopped replying as frequently as he used to. I felt angry, ignored but mostly, I was sad.

Thoughts constantly ran through my head. Why did he stop putting in effort? Did I do something wrong?

Conversation were dead, forced almost. Something was definitely wrong and there was nothing I could say to convince myself otherwise. And my gut was right the moment I received that message.

As I stared at those 4 daunting words, the lump in my throat grew bigger. My heart pumped louder and louder, my breath quicken, making me more light-headed. I felt sick to my stomach. And it didn't help the fact that I was actually sick as well. I had been fighting off a nasty cold for the last week.

I couldn't think straight. My head was filled with the most negative, worst case scenarios possible. I called my best friend, Alisha, straightaway, sniffling and barely able to get the words out above a whisper.

"Oh honey, no, Amber, don't even go there. You're amazing and he probably just wants to talk and sort out your communication issues and work on it," she said, reassuring me that everything was going to be okay and not to stress just yet.

"It's only been a month," I said in disbelief, more to myself than her.

"But you've known each other for way longer, Am. It's understandable to be concerned about it. But you'll be okay." Despite her attempts to calm my nerves, I knew deep down that it wasn't true.

Ignoring my gut and blindly hoping for the best, I held onto her words and prayed it was true.

We planned to meet up 2 days later at a park near the university where we both attended. As I walked to the bench we always met up at, I saw the outline of his figure, sitting stoically, staring out at the trees.

I walked up slowly to him, and he offered me a hug. Rather awkwardly I would say. We made some small talk, catching each other up on the recent happenings in our life. Once we mentioned everything and had nothing else to talk about, we sat in silence for a minute. The longest minute of my life, I would say.

"So we should probably talk about it," he said, avoiding all eye contact with me and shifting his leg slightly. I nodded, letting him continue.

"I think we've been in a really rough patch. We've been fighting a lot recently and I just don't want us to end up like that."

I was wrecking my brain, thinking of an instance of which I yelled at him or argued with him. We've only been officially dating for a month. When did we even have time for that? He must have a different definition of what yelling is because I grew up in an Asian household and when we yelled, the whole house shakes. Anyways, I zoned out from the conversation just a little bit and the next thing I heard was unbelievable. Just unbelievable.

"We have different interests. I play games quite a lot and I enjoy it but you're not a gamer girl," My jaw dropped. I was stunned. Did he seriously just say that? He's breaking up with me because I'm not a gamer girl. Unbelievable.

My mind could not comprehend any other excuse he had.

"So you're not willing to work this out?" I said meekly, my slight quiver in my voice which followed by a minute of uncomfortable silence.

"I don't think there's anything we can work out." He said.

I choked back a sob, not letting him see how much that hurt me. I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was trapped in an empty shell. I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. After more sitting in silence, I made up my mind.

"We were never together in the first place," I whispered and took off. By took off, I mean I actually sprinted out of there. Not turning back, just zoomed back in the direction of my car. What I said wasn't wrong, technically, he never asked me officially so I wasn't wrong.

I ran and ran and ran until I reached the sport centre where I knew Alisha was playing volleyball at. I zoomed in, spotting her blond hair from a distance. I grabbed her hand and dragged her out, not caring about anyone else around.

"What-," Alesha asked, shutting up when she saw my tear streaked face.

"He--bro--k-e up-----wi-t-h me," I managed to get out in between my sobs and gasps of air.

"That asshole," she cursed, enveloping me into a hug, comforting me the best she could as well as requesting to the heavens for all bad karma to come his way.

Even though I felt like my world just collapsed, she still managed to get a little chuckle out of me. Man, what would I do without her.