The Bend in the Road (A Karna-Arjun what-if story)

The breacher of silence

Arjun's pov

Madhav had completely disappeared since the end of the day's battle. With a heavy heart and numb limbs, Arjun wandered around their camp. At least he had an aim: find Madhav.

His brothers, aimless as they were, had taken refuge in their headquarters tent. Others had been automatically debarred from entering it at present. The silence and inaction must be driving them crazy; Arjun was glad he had something to do.

Madhav put an end to his hunt by turning up out of thin air beside him. He had a tendency of doing that since old times, particularly when Arjun craved his company.

"Pitamah would be in unbearable pain, Madhav," was the first thing Arjun found himself saying. "How can he take it till the solstice?" 

Madhav shook his head, and kept its meaning unclear.

"Do you think Nakul and Sahadev could do something to help a bit?" asked Arjun.

"There is no need, Parth. When someone's mind is unwavering, physical wounds can do little to affect them."

"That sounds idealistic."

"Some things are idealistic," said Madhav with a sad sort of smile, "like a truly calm mind. Not many attain it even for an instant in their lifetime."

"Are you sure Pitamah has attainted it?"

Madhav kept quiet.

"Madhav, if Pitamah has not attained it, he is in horrible pain--" 

However painful the idea was, Arjun could not shed a single tear. Something had frozen inside him and turned into a stone; possibly his heart, which had accepted he had no right to shed a single tear.

"He is very close to attaining it." Madhav was a bit too good at instilling belief with certain tones of his. "He will attain it as soon as honour resides upon Hastinapur's throne."

The sight of the battlefield flashed in front of Arjun's mind's eye.

"That is nowhere close," he said in despair. "Madhav--there are at least days to go for--I cannot let Pitamah--" 

Madhav's fingers closed around his to cut him off. 

"Parth."

His voice, firm like his grip, lulled Arjun into a wary sort of calm.

"Be patient for just a while longer."

"I injured my grandfather so badly that he is experiencing death every moment without dying," said Arjun. "Tomorrow, they will make my Gurudev their commander, and I would have to take him on. Yes, I am certainly patient. It is easy to be patient."

He tried to free his hand, and failed.

"All right, you don't have to be patient," said Madhav. "All you need to do is trust me. You can do that, can't you?"

It was baffling how Arjun could still, after Madhav's plot led him to injure Pitamah fatally, not imagine himself abandoning his trust in Madhav.

He nodded.

***

Soon after Arjun joined his brothers in their lonely, cold, silent gathering. All four were sitting in the same position he had left them. Yudhishthir leant against a divan, tossing a dice up and down in loop; beside him Bheem lay on his back on the floor, gazing at the ceiling of the tent unblinkingly; Nakul reclined on the divan; Sahadev was curled up with his head on Yudhishthir's lap.

Arjun took his spot between Yudhishthir and Bheem. 

His oldest brother shifted his dice to the other hand to pat his arm. It seemed a reassurance that they did not blame him. Arjun did not truly worry his brothers would hold him responsible, but he had been thinking for a while now that they should, that they maybe did, in some hidden depth of their soul...