House of the rising Son

10. Doubt

Bring me home in a blinding dream
Through the secrets that I have seen
Wash the sorrow from off my skin
Show me how to be whole again
...castle of glass

After what had happened I knew things could never be as they were.  Not with these kids and me.  How could they.  I couldn't bare look or think about him.  Every noise kicked start my heart.  I didnt want to face him today.

Your quiet today whats up? Wendy asked bringing her coffee to her lips.

Nothing I responded as I internally flinched at the soreness that ran through my body. I felt bruised everywhere but luckily didn't see any visible sign he had touched me. It was all in my head where I planned to lock it up and throw away the key.

Hey thanks again for coming.

(Gulp!)  What?

I practically choked on my saliva taking in a hard swallow.  Coming haha thats funny.  Stupid get your head out of the clouds..

No problem. I answered awkwardly as I attempted to maintain my thoughts around her.  I swear she could see right through me but it was just my guilt tripping me up..

He's gone a again. She then responded heavily.. Skipped out on his chores as usual. I could see the pain and frustration she was in and got up to comfort her..

Again that night there was a no show.. Something had to be done but I didnt really want any part of it.  Part of me felt a rush of relief and I knew how wrong that was regardless of what had happened I wanted him safe.  Thomas do you know where he goes.  I asked.

Not really but I have seen him hang out down at the old riverbed.  His friends go there to get high.

Wendy made me go with so I grabbed the prospect and we all went together. We watched a group of young guys start to harass us when we tried to pull him out of that place.

This your mom one guy says. Your real pretty mom he teased. I gave Abel a dirty look to which he just shrugged it off. Abel lets go now or ill call the cops. Wendy says.

The prospect did get in between us and did end up throwing in a couple punches to a couple of the boys that got physical..

Fine. He said tossing his beer to the dirt. Whos your friend shes real cute. I heard them making there jokes as we walked away. They even started to chase after us. Yeah she looks real good. Yes she does I hear Abel agree as he waits to let me in.

I felt my skin light up and I swear it took everything to maintain the color in my cheeks.  I pass him up and get in the back not wanting to deal with him. Wendy is so pissed arguing with Abel as he just tries to blow her off.

Why do you have to do this. I wanted this place to be good for you, for us. Your ruining everything. No mom your the one that ruins shit. I tried to stay quiet as to not get involved. I didnt know how to fix this shit. It was beyond my understanding. Maybe if you could have made him happy he'd still be here.

Hey dont talk to your mom like that. I raised my voice from the back seat. You shut up or ill fill that pretty mouth of yours. He responded and my mouth dropped and my voice hitched in my throat..

Abel!!  You can't talk to my friends like that..  Wendy tried to defend.  She is here to help us. But he just laughed under his breath as in we both knew what happened the other day..

He was still being verbally abusive when we pulled into the driveway.

I couldn't believe he was speaking like this. He was so angry and had so much hate that all I could do was worry for her.