Familiar | Kajemac

Chapter 5

Mac's POV

KJ's smiles, holding in a laugh while she sips her milkshake through the straw. While Erin talks about the baking her and her sister did over the weekend, KJ doesn't engage much. Instead, she listens and laughs along to Erin's story and TIff's comments. Curls from her ponytail fall over her shoulder as the force of her giggles cause her to rock forward in her seat. Suddenly, she catches my gaze, and I look away, feeling a weird fuzziness in my stomach that I attribute to the jumbo chocolate shake I've almost completely finished.

All of a sudden, KJ answers a question I didn't even hear the other girls ask.

"I would, but my mom wants to take me shopping. My Bat mitzvah is this Friday, and I still haven't chosen a dress yet."

Tiff gasps in excitement. "What kind of dress are you thinking?"

"I don't know. But I'll probably just end up getting whatever my mom chooses. She is always really pushy about what I wear, and she always wants me to get the ugliest dresses." KJ takes another sip of her shake then gets an idea. "Hey, what if you guys come? You can help counteract my mom's opinions and make sure I get something I like."

"I would," but Tiffany replies, "but Tuesdays are family game nights. I can't get out of them."

KJ turns her eyes to Erin next.

"I have to watch my sister while my mom is out."

KJ frowns then brings her attention to me. "What about you, Mac?"

I stop sucking my milkshake to answer.  "Me? Dress shopping? I haven't worn a dress since I was five and my grandma made me. And even then I grabbed a candle and set it on fire."

"Please? " she begs. "It will be completely paintless.

Her brown eyes grow bigger, making it harder for me to say no.

"Fine."

That puts a grin on KJ's face, and I feel that weird stomach thing again, so I break my eyes away from my friend and slurp up the last bit of my milkshake.

* * * * *

As I enter the store, I think I might go blind from all the glitter and rhinestones. Dresses hang from every rack, all with puffs and flounces and bows and everything that makes me want to vomit. I feel so out of place here, but I have to remember I'm doing this for KJ. And after today, I'll never have to step foot in this place again.

    I don't see KJ in the store anywhere, so she must already be by the dressing rooms. It feels like walking through a minefield as I make my way past all the dresses, avoiding all the skirts that crowd me on either side. When I reach the back, my pulse jumps, and I forget how to walk.

KJ is standing on the carpet facing a mirror. A bright yellow dress waterfalls in ruffles from her waist, mimicking the curls of her ponytail. It goes down to her knees, ending with multiple giant shiny bows. I've never seen her dressed up before. I thought she'd look goofy as hell, and she totally does, but she also looks... Fuck, she looks beautiful.

She tilts her head, examining the dress, until she spots my reflection, and she spins around, her face lighting up.

"Mac!"

"Hey."

Suddenly, her mom speaks, and I realize she's been sitting on a bench on the side this whole time. "Hello, Mac. What do you think of this dress? I picked it out."

    Mrs. Brandman awaits my response with an eager smile, but KJ shakes her head.

    "Uh, it's nice. But uh, might be a bit bright."

    "Really? Oh, well. Fine, let's try the green one."

    KJ smiles at me, and as her mom steps away to find the next dress, KJ comes closer.

    "I think she's going to make me try on the whole store," she jokes.

    "Maybe I can help speed things along. The quicker we can get out of this place, the better. This whole store looks like a Barbie threw up in it."

    KJ laughs at that, and her mom returns, holding up an emerald green cupcake-looking dress.

    "Okay, back into the change room."

    I think KJ tries on at least 15 more dresses. I lost count. Every one, KJ puts on what I can tell is a fake smile, but politely asks for a different dress. Her mom doesn't tire. She keeps pulling out more and more dresses.

    "This one is perfect!"

    "Mom, you've said that about every dress so far."

    "Because everything I've chosen is beautiful! Don't you feel beautiful!"

    KJ gives me a look, a plea for help.

    "Uh, let's try that one." I point to the pink dress that's been hanging on the rack for the past half hour but hasn't been touched yet.

    "Oh, right," her mother says dully. "That one was KJ's choice. Okay, fine. Give it a try. Quick, now."

    When KJ pushes the curtain aside, she steps out with a smile on her face—a real one. The light pink glows under the fluorescent lights, making her appear like a light source herself. I don't even mind the ruffles on this one, because she looks so happy. She looks like herself. She looks beautiful.

    "This is the one," KJ says as she twirls around in front of the mirror.

    "Really?" her mom replies. "Are you sure? I think it's—"

"You look amazing," I say.

KJ smiles at me, and I hold her stare, not wanting to let it go. Her mom takes a minute to think before finally agreeing.

"Alright. If this is what you want. But there is a weird fold in the fabric here at the back. I'm going to go see if I can find one without that."

KJ checks her skirt, searching for what her mother saw, but I don't think she finds it. Neither do I. But then again, I don't know what dresses are supposed to look like.

After her mom leaves, I walk over to KJ, speechless as I look her up and down.

"Wow, KJ. You..." I take in a breath. "Wow."

"Thanks. It feels familiar."

"What does?"

"This dress." She spins to see herself in the mirror again, and I step up beside her. "It feels like I've worn it before. But I know I haven't. Maybe I'm supposed to wear it."

"What? Like fate?"

She turns her face to me. "Something like that. Maybe. Do you believe in fate?"

"Nope. I think everything that happens in this shitty world is just random and pointless, and only idiots think it means something."

"Then I guess I"m an idiot." She rests her eyes on the mirror again, looking at me through my reflection. "I don't know. Some things just...feel like they're meant to be."

The longer I stare at her, the farther I feel myself drifting into some kind of haze, like I'm letting my thinking brain sleep and all that's left is my feeling brain. And my feeling brain can't do much except notice how pretty my friend looks right now and how loud my heart is beating.

As we stand side by side, I feel the graze of her pinky against mine, and without any thought at all, our hands find themselves interlocked with each other. And it's so weird, and it must look super gay, but the bit of my brain that would be telling me to care is fast asleep. And her hand is soft and warm—and familiar.

"We're in luck!"

KJ and I startle apart right as her mom walks in with another copy of KJ's dress.

"I found the last one in your size. Come on, now. Get changed so we can pay."

KJ gives me another glance before disappearing back inside the change room. Once she's gone, my brain wakes up again. That was weird, and it doesn't make sense. I'm not gay. But... Fuck.