Adoration| colby brock

Chapter 6 🤎

a/n this chapter contains drug use and maybe some other triggering topics.
be safe

it's been 2 weeks since i saw colby, i still havnt cleaned my apartment, i havnt taken a full look at it yet. i stay in my room unless i'm going to work or collage.

i have to leave for work soon, i havnt eaten in a while because the kitchen has been a mess. i'll eat when i get to work.

i get into the car and listen to my spotify playlist. stay by rihanna begins to play, i really love this song. i sing to the lyrics as i try to find a parking spot.

"not really sure how to feel about it, somthing in the way you move. makes me feel like i can't live without you and it takes all the way. i want you to stayyy"

i drive around the lot when i spot a space and reverse into it.

"funny your the broken one but i'm the only one who needed saving cause when you never see the light it's hard to know whitch one of us is caving" i love this song.

i stop the radio a leave the car. when i reach the café Elise isn't there yet. that's weird, she's never not here before me. i unlock to doors and set up the machines when i hear somebody walk in.

"sorry we're not ope- oh it's just you hey"
i turn to see elise in her uniform placing her bag down. "hey anna" i turn and continue what i'm doing hoping that she won't notice my face, it's been a while so most of the bruises are gone

"hey so i was thi- anna what happened you your face?" the silence fills the room, elise obviously knows about my dad and what he's done, but i never told her that i was in contact with him again or that he was staying at my apartment

"it's nothing don't worry about it" she stares at me with a stern look on her face "that dosnt look fine anna" i'm not explaining it to her or anyone else.
"it is okay can you please just drop it"

the day goes on and elise offers to close up so i leave and drive home, i forgot to eat because it was really busy today i can just eat after i clean the kitchen this evening.

it was already getting dark when i arrived at home my dad (to no one's surprise) was passed out drunk in his bed so i didn't have to worry about him.

i stood silently in the kitchen looking around to see how much of a mess it really was... i'll just do it another time.

tomorrow i'm doing nothing so i can just stay at home and practice piano, that's a lie i'll probably just sleep.

i sit on my dark and quiet room, clothes everywhere and sheet music scattered around my desk along with makeup.
thoughts rushing through my head as i sit there in silence.

"kill yourself" are the words that run around in my head "you were more fun when you were high" i remember my trap house years. why did i get sober? i should have just killed myself that would have been so much easier.

i miss the high so much, the burn in my nose after a line or the marks on my arms after injecting something.

i go into my bathroom and find my blades i sit on the floor and pull down my baggy sweatpants slicing my upper thighs the sting puts a slight smile on my face.

i pull up my pants and put my hair in a messy bun and put on my green misguided playboy hoodie.

i grab two cigarettes from my drawer, it's been a while since i smoked. i went outside i from of my apartment block. i lived in a busy area so there were lights on and a number of people around.

i take out my lighter and light the cigarette. the familiar taste in my throat and the wind blowing the smoke into my face. i hear my phone chime and when i see the contact name a shiver goes up my spine brennen ❤️