Face off

Stubborn

Willow

I knew I was being ridiculous, but I didn't want to see him. Or talk to him. Or think about him. Clearly it was going well. I don't know what I expected after practically sprinting away from him the day he dropped me off. Which was after I made out with him like a sixteen year old, then chickened out and all but demanded he take me back to my house. But what was I supposed to do "I don't think friends do this "the phrase had hit me like a punch in the stomach. Did he not want to keep going? Did he regret it already? Did I over step? Did he not want me that way? Or worst of all, was this all he wanted all along? Just to work his way into my pants? Was I just another challenge to him?

The more I thought about it, the easier it was to convince myself that I really was nothing to him. Clearly he wanted someone who was willing to drop their clothes for him any time, anywhere. I couldn't do that. I recently found some kind of freedom and stupidly threw myself at the first man who bothered to speak to me for anything other than my friends or my photos. I felt pathetic. I was so desperate that I became just another girl pining after Chase Andrews, hoping he wasn't who he really was.

On top of the situation at hand, I was finally dealing with the fact that not only was I cheated on, but one of my best friends hooked up with, or at least made out with my ex; knowing her history a make out never has innocent intentions to her. Then I'd lost two friends for the price of one, and put a strain on Cass and Robin's friendship. I never told Cass what happened at the arena because I knew she was still talking to her. I tried not to let it upset me, but it did. I couldn't expect her to drop Robin over what she did, but it was still weird to hear about their conversations. She did her best to keep those topics away from me, but you cant avoid them all and I can't force her to sensor her life for me. So I lost my boyfriend, two of my best friends, strained my relationship with Cass, and her own friendship with Robin, I made friends with Chase, which made my brother hate me, then messed that up too, and then had to listen to him go back to his old ways because I couldn't grow up and be real with him. Which may have been for the best since he didn't seem to miss me much. Or at all. He just felt guily, and angry that a girl actually blew him off in the first place.

I hadn't talked to him in a week, or seen him since I ran away from him in the truck, yet I somehow thought he would have been sitting there waiting for me to come around. I knew he was going to the bar and I knew what he did at the bar. Hell he had me piss drunk and all over him. Twice. I knew better, yet was stupid enough to have hope anyway. He texted me a few times and called once or twice after my last text, but I didn't want to be his best friend again. Not right now. So I had responded but kept it short and sweet. Like a friend.

I didn't realize how much I liked being around him over the past couple of weeks, how comfortable I felt. He even made homework fun. Now for the past week, I went to school, came home to do my homework, then stayed home and watched movies by myself. Olivia and Cass tried to drag me out a few times, but I just didn't care to go out and do much of anything.

When I told Olivia what happened that day, she was sympathetic, but not so much after my failed attempt at talking to him. Then she got stern. I heard all about how he couldn't know I was going to be there, and he had every right to take someone home since we never became more than friends. She understood, but at the same time was determined to believe I was wrong about him despite the facts. Somehow she thought I was different.

I sighed, flipping back the covers. This would be my second weekend with no plans, nobody to hang out with, and no reason to leave the house. Last weekend Cass and Olivia had both gone home to visit their families and this weekend they were going Shopping out of town today and Sunday they had a group project to work on for their psychology course. Somehow their four person group turned into Cass and Olivia doing all the work. Meaning they would be spending all of Sunday locked up in the school library. At least they had plans.