If I had known
By Kaedahara Kazuha
If I had known
I'd be older than you one day,
I would have said every word I meant
Every 'I love you'
Every 'I need you here'
Every 'Stay with me';
If I had known
That was our final goodbye,
I would have made that bittersweet moment,
Linger just a moment longer,
Just a little more time with you,
I would kill for that now;
If I had known
You would never hold me again,
I would have held on tighter,
Moved in closer,
Grasped onto that feeling better,
If I had known
You'd leave me that day,
I would have focused on the happiness,
The brightness of your presence,
Not the darkness that filled it's absence;
If I had known
I would be here writing this someday,
I wouldn't have let you go so easily,
But there's no going back,
No reset of what has happened,
You are gone,
I am still here,
I need to let go but I can't;
If I had known
I'd be pouring my heart out to pen and paper instead of you,
I'd replace my ink with my blood,
My paper with your skin,
So you'd know just how much you mean to me;
If I had known
If I had known
If I had known
If I had known...
But I didn't.
I didn't know.
I couldn't have known.
I need to stop blaming myself.
What you did was selfless.
What I'm doing is selfish.
But I don't care how selfish I seem,
I will hold on to you,
No matter how much your memory slips away,
I will hold on.
I will.
I will.
I will.
I love you Tomo.
Forever yours,
Kaedahara Kazuha
