Breathe Me [Italy x Reader One Shot]

Breathe Me

Mentions of self-harm and depression, just a little heads up~
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Italy x Depressed!Reader

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And the worst part is there's no one else to blame

•

Most people would cut their wrists in their bathroom, but that's too predictable.

It was half past noon on a bright Sunday. Your mum and aunt had wanted to go to a restaurant, and after denying their invitation to leave the house, they left you to yourself at home. It was about time too, because you had to get relief now.

Making sure the white truck had left the driveway and was halfway down the street, you quickly made your way into your mum's home office. She worked as a professional sketch artist, and there was something specific in that room that you needed. After going through many drawers and ruffling through papers the object made itself known to you: a small pencil sharpener hidden in a fluorescent pink pencil case.

Taking the screw off it was the hardest part. Since you couldn't find a screwdriver, you had to make due with a plastic knife. Struggling, you managed to complete the task and you made your way out to the garage.

The more you drew the blade around your wrist, the more the guilt clouded your conscience. You promised your friend you wouldn't do this, you were two weeks clean and he was so proud of you. But the temptation was growing to be unbearable.

Dollops of metallic liquid fell from your skin and painted the white towel you had brought along a bright red colour. To distract yourself from everything in the world, you pretended you were like mum: giving life to a plain, white canvas by adding splashes of lively red to it.

It worked for a while.

•

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

•

All you wanted was for someone to hold you. Someone to comfort you when times like these came along. To wrap you up in their arms and make you feel protected. You often thought as yourself as small and needy, wanting for someone to warm you up with love. Bt just anyone, though. You wanted a boy that could make you feel like you were the most important thing in the world.

•

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

•

A week later you were inside your room with your favorite meaningful songs blasting through your earbuds and the lights all out. The tears that escaped your eyes were nothing new. They were your only companions on lonely days like this one and were the ones that contained the feelings of emptiness constantly surrounding you.

Lost couldn't even describe the way you felt. You felt as if you might break at any second if someone wasn't too careful, which you probably could. Nothing felt completely safe anymore, because how could you protect yourself from the demons inside your head?

•

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

•

The edge of your bed suddenly dipped down and a warm pair of hands found their way around you, making you sit up. You opened your eyes to see your one and only friend, Feliciano Vargas, pulling you into his lap and taking one of your earbuds for himself. He began rocking you in a slow and steady tempo, as a mother might do to a sleeping baby.

Feliciano began to hum along to the song playing and softly held your hands in his slightly bigger ones. Fingers intertwined as his humming soon became singing, sincere emotion dripping from his every word. It was then that, for just a split second, you actually felt safe.

•

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

•

You ended up falling asleep on Feli's lap. It was only seven in the evening and he had to get going back home if he didn't want to end up in trouble. It pained him to see you in such a fragile state. You looked so small and breakable that he felt a sudden urge to protect you from everything with all his might.

Before leaving, Feliciano tucked you in to bed and put your phone on the nightstand. He reached into his pocket to find the letter he had come to give you titled "Reasons Why I Think You're Really Great", which contained exactly two-hundred thirty-eight of reasons all marked on lined pieces of paper filled with pasta stains and messy handwriting.

Feliciano headed towards the door and took one final look back at you and your sleeping form. He smiled seeing you no longer seeming as fragile, simply peaceful. Feli walked back next to you and planted a soft kiss on your forehead.

"I love you, Feli," you mumbled softly. Said boy registered what you said and stroked pieces of hair away from your forehead, the smile still plastered on his face. He kissed you once more, this time a soft peck on your cheek before making his way out your room. He bid his goodbyes to your mum and aunt before walking out the door and into the sidewalk.

"Ti amo anch'io, [Y/N]," he whispered into the evening breeze.

•

::. Breathe Me by Sia .::