All For Show (COMPLETED)

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Everyone in the family was worried.

Everyone was blaming me for what happened.

It was nothing surprising, really.

Kasi kapag may magandang nangyayari, hindi nila ako naaalala. Pero kapag may masamang nangyari na kahit kaunti lang ay pwedeng isisi sa akin? Sa akin talaga nila isisisi.

Been there, done that.

"Are you gonna visit?" Pablo asked.

It's been a quiet night with him. Nang marinig ko iyong nangyari kay Therese, of course nagulat ako. But... I had no urge to visit her. I had no urge to go ask to talk to her. I was really just done with her shit.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked.

"Anything," he replied as he tightened his hold on me. We were in bed and he was hugging me from behind. I could hear his steady breathing. I felt at home whenever his skin was touching mine. Kung pwede lang sana na ganito lang kami palagi.

"It's pretty fucked up," I said.

"I won't judge."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he said and planted a small kiss on my shoulder. "Do you want me to tell you something fucked up, too, so you'll feel comfortable sharing?"

"Yes... but some other time?"

"Okay," he said as I felt him nodding.

Hindi agad ako nagsalita. I felt bad for thinking this. I felt like I shouldn't tell him this because I felt like I was an awful human being for even considering this.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he said.

I shook my head. I should tell him. I mean, if we're in this for the long haul, he should accept me for who I am, right? Both the good and the bad? And maybe even the terrible parts of me?

"It's just that..." I said as I held on to his hands. Takot ba ako na bitawan niya kapag sinabi ko na? Siguro. But I just needed to say this out loud. "I feel like Therese's just doing this to stop us from... I don't know... Potentially suing her. Hindi naman natin gagawin, pero hindi niya naman alam 'yon, 'di ba? Because thinking about it, she kept on pulling this kind of stunt growing up. Na tuwing may mangyayari sa aking maganda, bigla siyang magkakasakit o mag-aaksidente. I thought nothing about that before because more than anything, I was worried about her. But then... this again," I said.

He didn't say a word but I felt him caress my arm as if he was urging me to tell him my deepest, darkest thoughts and assuring me that by the end of it, he'd still be here.

"Because... if she really wants to kill herself... I mean... there are ways to make sure it'll happen, right? And not just an attempt?"

God, I felt so bad for saying this out loud.

"But maybe I'm just thinking this because I really can't trust her anymore."

Silence engulfed us once again. A few seconds later, I felt Pablo kissing the back of my head. I turned to look at him and his eyes caught mine.

"Are you disappointed?" I asked.

"No," he said. "Your thoughts are warranted."

"Really?"

He nodded. "But maybe you should talk to your sister."

"About what?"

"Everything," he said. "After all, she's in the hospital. She has nowhere to run. You can tell her everything once and for all."