Hold My Hand

The flight had been going smoothly. Taking off from Seattle had gone off without a hitch. Kai and Amelia were on their way back to Minnesota together to spend a long weekend in Kai's apartment. They decided there would be no talk about work, no stress, no annoying exes. Just them, spending some alone time together. They definitely needed it, after spending some long nights in the lab recently. It was time to relax and just be with each other.

It was about halfway through the flight that the turbulence started. Not too bad, but it was startling to Amelia nonetheless. She had always been an anxious flyer, but especially after the plane crash her brother and sister in law had experienced, she was even more afraid of planes.

She could feel the butterflies beginning to form in her stomach. Taking a small sip of ginger ale, she sat back and closed her eyes, trying to calm her racing thoughts.

"You okay there, Shepard?", her partner had noticed the movement next to them.

"Yeah, all good. Just tired", she said trying to play it off. She usually wasn't afraid of sharing her thoughts and feelings with Kai, but she just wanted to get through this flight without letting her nerves get the best of her. As she was trying to practice some deep breathing, the plane began to shake with turbulence again, stronger this time. Her eyes snapped open just in time to see her ginger ale spilling on the tray table in front of her. She quickly reached out to grab some napkins, but her hands were shaking too much to clean up the spilled soda. Kai grabbed some napkins of their own and soaked up the mess. Then they reached out their hand to place it gently on top of their girlfriends tiny, shaking hand.

"I never would've pegged you for an anxious flyer, Shepard", they joked with a small chuckle. When they looked up to see her eyes welling with tears, they knew they had made a mistake.

"Hey baby, I was just kidding. It's okay to be scared, but it's just a little turbulence".

Amelia's thoughts were already beginning to spiral as the turbulence continued. This plane is going to crash. It's going to crash and we're all going to die. I'm never going to see my son again. She was trying to take some deep breathes, but she felt like her lungs couldn't take in any air. Her chest was tight, her small frame beginning to tremble, tears spilling over her thick lashes.

"Kai, this plane is going to crash. It's going to crash and we're all going to die!" Her voice is growing louder with each passing second, and some of the other passengers are beginning to stare. Kai turns to their panicking girlfriend and takes her hand in theirs, holding tightly.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm right here. Can you try to take some deep breaths for me?"

"I-I can't. I can't breathe. I'm scared"

"It's okay, baby. You're okay. Can you feel my hand? Just focus on holding my hand".

She squeezed their hand back tightly.

"Good, that's good. Just hold on to my hand. Can you tell me 5 things you can see?, they ask gently.

"Um. My-my water bottle. The safety card. Magazine. My shoes. You", she looked up to meet their soft gaze.

"That's so good, baby. Now 4 things you can touch".

"My sweater. Your hand. The armrest. The tray table".

"You're doing so good for me. Now 3 things you can hear".

"A baby crying. Your voice. The plane".

"Great job! Now something you can taste".

"Salt". Amelia was beginning to calm down at this point. Taking some deeper breathes and her tears subsiding.

"There you go. Just breathe for me. You're doing so good. Such a good job."

"I'm sorry", she whispers, not meeting their eyes.

"Hey, no apologies. I'll always be here for you. You're not a burden, Amelia. I love you".

"I love you too. Thank you".

"Of course, baby. Are you feeling a little better?"

"Yes definitely much better".

Kai looks down to check their watch.
"We have about forty-five minutes left. Do you think you could take a little nap? You're body is going to be exhausted and you need to rest that beautiful brain", they say tracing their fingers over her cheek and jaw.

"I don't know if I can".

"How about you put your AirPods in and listen to some music. You don't have to sleep, just rest your eyes for a little bit".

"Okay, I guess I could try that".

She pulls out her phone to look for some music and she immediately knows that she wants. After that first night at the bar, Kai had sent her an acoustic version of "Trouble". She listens to it almost every night to fall asleep.

"Here. Lay your head on my shoulder".

She does as she's told. Melting into their body and allowing herself to relax a little. Her brain is exhausted from her racing thoughts and she just needs to take a little break. Kai presses a soft kiss to her forehead, moving closer so she's more comfortable. They may be crammed into a small space, legs barely fitting under the seat, but they'll do anything to make her more comfortable, to feel safer.
Amelia just stays with her hard against their shoulder, letting their voice in her ears lull her to sleep for the rest of the flight.