A Step By Step Guide To Mortality

Eat this sandwich you stupid little gremlin

Becoming a teacher was more of an impulse than anything else.

Phil's very long life had started to get more and more dependent on his impulses. When you can't die, what do you have to lose?

He's never been very interested in kids.

Sure, they have their moments. Phil sometimes feels his heart warmed by a baby he passes in the grocery store, smiling and making grabby hands towards him.

Sometimes his face lights up when a child runs up to him and mistakenly shouts, "Dad!" but they're not something he'd ever consider.

Being a parent would hurt him too much, seeing his kids age without him. Phil's heart had lived through a lot but that might be the one thing to finally break it.

So, he's kept his distance until just recently. He barely remembers being a child, what good would he be at raising one?

But that thought is still there and an idea wormed its way into his mind:

Teaching.

The impulse was more than enough to get him started.

How hard could teaching even be? Nothing too challenging for an immortal such as himself.

History. Yes, that's what he'd teach.

Who better to teach history than someone who was there for most of it?

Brilliant.

"Ran-boo?" Philza squints at the students name, "Is it Ranbo? Or Ranboo?" he glances over the classroom, waiting for an eye to catch his.

A taller student with split dyed hair by the front of the class raises his hand, "It's Ranboo, sir."

Phil gives him a warm smile and nods, "Thanks mate."

He continues going down the list, brows furrowing together at the unfamiliar names that adorn them.

"You guys have some weird names. Is there a Theseus?" Phil calls out and the boy sitting next to Ranboo immediately jumps to attention.

"I don't go by Theseus, Mr Watson!" The young boy announces loudly.

The even shorter boy sighs by his side.

The heights go from tallest to shortest in order of Ranboo, Theseus, and the boy, Tubbo, speaking now.

"Nobody's called him Theseus since we were 5." Tubbo sits his head against his palm tiredly.

"What would you prefer?" Phil looks at the boy before him, a shock of blond hair, loud expressions and swinging legs amongst a tide of tired faces and sluggish bodies.

"Tommy." He announces proudly and Phil gives him a reassuring nod.

"Tommy." Phil states.

The name soon grows familiar on his tongue.

As the weeks pass, he discovers two things.

One, there is a major gap in maturity between his senior class and his junior class.

And two, Tommy is an absolute, undeniable, menace.

He's the loudest in class debates, challenging opinions whilst not understanding his own. He says things Phil would never have thought to be relevant to history ever before.

There is no student in his junior class that can compete with the ferocity of which Tommy participates with.

What makes Tommy even more interesting to Phil is how he changes depending on the people.