Between The Lines

You

You say, "be open, this is your opportunity to tell me want you want"
But what for
You don't listen
You choose not to listen
You choose to ignore me
I've had open up with you in the past
Told you the truth, my truth
And what changed?
What have you done to change that?
And open up with you
And you just stood there, amazing poker face by the way,
Made me feel like my feelings didn't matter
Made me feel like I'm the problem
And maybe I am, maybe it is all my fault for trusting my heart with you
I trust my life with you, I know you would do anything to protect me
But I don't trust you with my heart, not anymore
Not if you're still gonna tear it apart
Don't you know how that makes me feel
Don't you care about my heart.
And I'm not even mad anymore, or begging for you to see it.
I'm just disappointed
Disappointed because the last person I expected to break my heart into a thousand pieces did it, and still feels like you grab one of them and break it again.
I don't wanna be you
I don't wanna be like you
People expect me to be you, to live your marriage, your life.
You expect me save it
You trained me to be you
You shaped me to be the perfect cooking wife for your husband
And I might sound selfish, and it is.
I'm tired of living for people and surviving for me, it should be like that.
It feels like I'm living with a stranger
Scared all the time
Scared of not being heard
Scared that you won't care.
But at the same time
You smile at me
And I feel guilty for feeling this disappointment.
I feel guilty for being this mad at you
I feel guilty for pitting you.
Cause at the same I see you tired, unhappy, exhausted.
But you can't give Cause you'd do anything for me, for us, even living hell.