The smell of bacon and waffles are all over my room. It woke me up, actually. As I am reaching for my glasses, I notice that the lily is not on my side table anymore. I wear my glasses and take a look once more. I want to make sure that the lily isn't gone; that it is right there, my vision is just playing games with me. But no, it's not there. The lily-my lily- is not where it is supposed to be. I get out of bed and look for it. Withered or not, that lily is important. It holds all the memories I have with Nate, I can't afford to lose it. I look under my bed and under my side table. I look all over my room but it is nowhere to be found.
One..
Two..
Three..
Three knocks and I still continue to look for the lily. Three knocks and I don't even bother to open my door or ask who is it. I keep on searching all over the room. The knocking stops. My door opens. As I take a glance at my door, I see someone standing. It's my mom.
"I brought you breakfast in case you're hungry." My mom says.
"Uh thanks." I answer as I continue to look for my lily.
"You seem busy. What are you looking for?"
"My lily. Did you see it? It was just resting on my side table last night."
"Um, I kind of threw it away a while ago..."
"Kind of? What? Mom! You should have asked me first."
"It's wilted, honey. I don't think it will look good in your room so I threw it."
"I don't care if it's wilted, Nate gave it to me. It's very important to me."
"I'm sorry, my dear."
"Yeah. I just wish your apology will bring my lily back."
"Maybe it's for the best? Maybe It's a sign? Maybe it will help you move on."
"Well, maybe I don't want to move on. Maybe I don't want anything but my lily."
"I'm really sorry, dear."
"Yeah, mom. I'm sorry too. Can you please leave me alone? I want to eat my breakfast alone."
"Sure, honey. Just call me if you want anything." My mom says as she leaves my room.
I can't believe my mom threw it away. The lily. My lily. It means so much to me.
Sitting right in front of me is a tray with bacon strips, a glass of water, and waffles with whip cream on it. As scrumptious as it looks, I couldn't manage to have a bite. I stare at it as sadness takes over my mind. As I stare at it, I remember the day Nate gave the lily for the first time.
It was last year's spring break and the lilies in his garden are growing in abundance. Since we were neighbors, he would always go to our house just to get me out of it and bring me to wherever our feet would take us. There are times when we just want to stay in my room and talk about stuff. There was this time when our conversation went from movies to family. Our talk went way deeper than I expected.
"My mom didn't really die in her sleep. My mom didn't have abortion, as well" He said. His face was sad. His voice was shaky.
"Why did she die, then?" I asked him, "And what happened to your brother?" I added.
"My father stabbed her in her sleep. I saw it, Beth. I saw the blood coming out from her chest and from her tummy. I wanted to call 911 but I was too shocked. Too startled to even move. And my dad, that asshole, said that I shouldn't speak about that night to anyone. We shan't talk about it, he said. He also said that he would kill me too if I tell it to the cops or to anyone. I was young then, Beth. I was young then. I was a selfish kid. I should have called the cops or 911, or anyone at least. I should have asked for help. I should have given justice to my mom's death. I should have done something for my little brother too. I shouldn't have cared for my life. But no, I was too selfish to even think of those things. I was too shocked of what my father did to my mother to even move. I was frozen in place. I was standing there, not moving even an inch. My mind was in a complete mess that time. I thought they loved each other. I thought they cared for each other. At least that's what my mother told me. She said that my dad loves her and that he cared for her. She also said that the reason my dad would always come home late is because he's working hard for us. She would always make me go to my room whenever dad is drunk. I would ask my mom if dad was drunk and she would answer the same thing every time. She would always say 'No, sweetie. your dad is a very hardworking man. He's just tired from work. Now go to sleep, okay?' My mom sugarcoats everything. She wanted me to see the world the way she saw it. She wanted me to stay positive. As I grow up, I realized that my dad isn't nice at all. He is a drunkard. He would spent all the money he has just to buy beer and cigars. I realized how asshole of a father he is. I don't know how my mother managed to love an asshole. I admire my mother for being the way she was. I also realized that my mother sugarcoated almost everything because she didn't want me to see this cruel world. But as I grow up, my eyes are starting to open. There is nothing nice in this world- or at least in my world." his eyes were teary the moment he stopped talking.
