Fractured ; Closure

Confusion

Life, damn what hell it can bring. When you were young, mother never told you how crappy it can actually be . You expected it to be happily ever after, a stroll through the park.

Well shit, I surely never expected it to be filled with idiots that don't know the hell what they're doing! There's so many people who act like they're all that and are perfectionist at every thing they do.

I'm not saying I'm little miss flawless, but I at least know how to take care of myself! I honestly don't know who I am, what I want to do with myself, or who I want to be... I'm still trying to find myself. With all of the stupid people intervening, it only makes it a whole lot complicated for me.

I am lost. Confused. Upset. There's numerous of things running through my head. My mind is accelerating of all the possible things that could happen, it won't shut itself down. I lay awake just about every night, I hardly ever get any sleep. I'm tired, I want to rest. Why can't I just shut my mind and body down. Just to be able to put everything on pause. Just a few hours is all I'm asking for. You'd think that isn't a lot, but it is so hard to get a grasp of it.

I don't know what to do. Just staring at the ceiling is giving me a migraine headache. At first there was no problem with it, I would create little images. But now, everything had turned into one big blur.

I'm doubting myself. Why can't I stop? Why am I uncapable of controlling my emotions? How come I'm alone? Will I always be? Will I ever be good enough for someone to love me, or even notice me? I'm just floating in all this distress. I don't want to be alone. I'm scared of the very thought of it.

What to do? I do not know. I will just put a brave face and act as if nothing is wrong with me. This way, nobody will ask and I can go about myself without anymore problems. That's just the way it is, everyone seems to bypass me. Unrecognized. Unnoticed. Invisible. Hidden within the dark
shadows that others cast down on me.