THE MOON & HIS TIDE!

vi. BOUNTY STUPIDITY

if you and i aren't in love ,
then what is this that we have ?

POINT OF VIEW ▯ vilas , ARABELLA'S !

"Gusto mo ba 'yon ? Ba't di mo pa kinuha ?" Kevin Caàsi , finds it really natural to spoil me . I did want the mushroom lamp . I thought it'd look cute on the coffee table in the middle of what we call the moon couch . It was expensive though .

So I shook my head no . Silence creeping at me . Another sense of regret welling . Not like any of that mattered then , I couldn't even feel the feeling well . Drowned beneath more things .

All I could really feel was nothing . Everything blended too much , I couldn't feel a thing . It was a shame . Though , I'm glad I wasn't constantly feeling .

Perhaps my entire system was trying really hard to help me heal through everything . I could only feel something , throughout this vapor breathing , whenever Kevin would do something that shook my whole entire being . Limited such emotion during positive inkling .

I thought it was just another night , of me not being able to sleep . Walking down the circular stairs , and sitting on the couch , staring at the unlit chandelier . But as soon as I sat down on the gray of the couch , my eyes didn't automatically run up the ceiling . It stayed on the coffee table .

On the unlit mushroom lamp .

He bought it . Still . For me . For me ? Me ?

I stayed there staring at it , for too long , maybe . And he was awake . Awake and standing there , on the side of the table . A pointer finger on the top of its smooth non-bright existence .

"Pretty , right ? Wait till you see it on ."

And he lit it on . It shone . Pretty colors of the sunset . A display of palette I often gazed at back then .

"Bakit mo pa binili ? Ang mahal nung nakita ko sa presyo kanina ."

He just sat down beside me . Plopping the cushion and shrugging , I felt it , his shoulder was meeting mine , after all . "I just thought , you'd for sure like it ." A finger of his poked at my cheek . That , serving as a switch for me to finally look at him . "And you sure seem to like it ."

I like it .

The things you do for me . How you hold me with your arms , your hands . How you forget about the idea of personal space as often as you forget every miscellaneous thing . How your voice soften when you talk to me , something I only realized after a month of living with you , after proper recollections . How your eyes would be glistened with raindrops , stormy gray , heavy clouds with dribbles of rain as you look at me ,

Such risky stupidity .

Parang tanga . Naghahabol ng kahit anong uri ng lambing . Kahit sa taong napakalamig . Nasiraan ba ko ng bait ? Bakit parang lahat ng tago kong kaayusan ng pag-iisip naglaho na lang bigla ?

How dare I be happy with the idea of being with him , completely ? Being loved by him , or something along those lines .

How could I not be though ? When he holds me so tightly , seemingly petrified with just the thought that I'd swat his hands away ? Why does he care so much ? What does he get out of this ?