𝗪𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗙𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 | knj

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 #2

It bothered him for a quite long time,he couldn't even eat,sleep or talk with anyone...that broke him in million pieces,his only lover,his highschool love,woman he loved more than everything on this earth,they even went to the same collage together and...ahh why? and why did she said that I need to forget about it? all my love...for what? for some stupid mistake she did to satisfy herself? If I wasn't a good husband,whay she didn't tell me we could have divorced on better way than this. We didn't even divorced...ahh I don't know what to think. Who could she cheat on me with? Who on earth is that? 

''Perhaps it would be better if she leaves this world'' that sentence leaved his mouth,he never thought he would say something like that about Ria,but after all she had done she deserved these words.With a bottle of beer in hands,opening the door of the room he had been in for a long time now he almost feel down from weakness caused by starving himself,he though it'll be better to die like that.

''Ahhh,my head hurts'' searching for some food in fridge he opened three pack of noodles and put them in pot,pouring some water inside he got a message from Hoseok his best friend who lives in States right now because of his work like a detective,but has a plan to come back to Korea. 

'Namjoonah hiii how are you? how's Ria and Kami doing? I hope you three are doing well.' message poped on bright screen of his phone,when he read her name in message he just closed his eyes for a second then reached for his phone to answer Hoseok.

'Ohh,Hoseok,we are doing...well I guess. How about you?' trying not to break down again after typing that word well when he is obviously not that well.

'I'm good,but Namjoonah what do you mean by that ''I guess''? where are you? did something happened between you and Ria? ...Is she alive?' 

'Yeah she is...alive,but...nothing,there is nothing for you to worry about!' typing that he felt pain again,it's not like that pain never left him,he didn't wanted to tell his friend that she did what she did,but somehow he needed to tell him once.

'Did something bothers you Namjoonah? or someone? do I need to come there?' he tried to help,but if he knew what Ria did he would've come the same second he heard that.

Tell him or not,Namjoon didn't wanted to bother his friend to come back to Korea just for him,even tho he wanted him to come back.

'Hoseokshi,don't worry! There's no one who bothers me!' even if this was a lie,he wasn't prepared to tell him that.

'Okaay,Namjoonah i gotta go to work,stay safe and eat well!!😁' 

'You too Hoseokaah!!!' 

Putting his phone down he poured water out of already cooked ramen and sprinkled it with gochujang sauce on top,he sat down at the table. After almost a week of not eating he felt healed,at least he thought so.

''What am I supposed to do now? what if I just...clean this place,the least I want is for her things to be in the apartment'' even tho it happened few days ago...it still felt unreal that he cannot stand the person he loved more than himself. Maybe if he does something it'll distract him from all of thoughs he has in his head. He started cleaning table after eating,it didn't left him,seeing pictures of him and Ria in apartment didn't help,he carried on cleaning,trying to forget just how she said forget.

Finishing the last particle of dust on the bookshelf and pulling out his brand new book,which remained intact because he had to take Ria to the hospital.The title said 'Indigo'  book cover was bluish with white parts on corners ,faded like old jeans.

He opened it with the same glow in his almond eyes everytime he sees a new book,showing his dimples,after a long time he again felt...h-happy? Is that a right word? He can be happy after everything?