A deeper Meaning

1

Sometimes life gets so unfulfilling you need to have a stronger...thing to make yourself feel like your actually alive. 
This is what I did when my mom died I started to do drugs, drinking hella a lot, and having random hookups at party's. I know not the best way to cope but, it works.
My mom died about 4months ago and at this point I feel a whole lot of nothing , and I like it.
My dad is not doing okay and honestly he's being a shit father, I know he's coping and all but I just don't understand how he just goes from being a happy drum player to a mute zombie.
So now I'm here walking around my  kitchen looking for cocoa puffs at 7 in the morning ready for school high as hell.
"Hey dad" he doesn't say anything back just a curt nod.Great.
"K then, I'm gonna leave for school" I say hurriedly shoving cereal in my mouth.
I'm riding my bike to school as usual because I definitely did not pass my driver's test.
My school is how you could say...diverse and not really in a good way. You have the preppy girls who think they bad because they hit a vape once, you have the emo/furries who walk around like NPCs, the jocks self explanatory, the stoners also self explanatory, and the cheerleaders who are soully obsessed with learning new cheers and the football jocks.
I fit in with the stoners now but I use to be part of those 'hit a vape once felt bad asf' girls who I now hate.
I was walking through the hallway in the middle of the day pass in hand on my way to the bathroom to hit my pen when I saw a pretty good looking guy walking into the office with papers, now I've never seen him before so I'm assuming he's new.
As I walk past the office the new guy makes eye contact with me through the glass wall for like a second before I realize I'm probably gonna trip and fall if I stare for any longer.
I walk into the bathroom into the big stall and hit my pen twice when I walk out to wash my hands I'm met with the girl who use to be my best friend.She didn't do anything wrong I just drifted after my mom died and got obsessed with drugs and whatever so, yeah friends no more.
"Hey Amara, it's been awhile"
"Yeah Cass it has"

"Yeah well I don't know there's a party tonight at Roes if u were interested we could hang out, I've missed you"
I'ma always down for a party and I guess I wouldn't mind being at least cool with Cass again

"Yeah sure sounds cool"

"Great see ya their"

"Yep"
Well now I have something to do tonight I'm glad for that.

This house was really fucking nice, I mean in ground pool, with a pool house kinda nice. The perfect place for a party.
I usually just go to the kitchen get a drink go to the couch and smoke maybe do some lines.. and of course that was my plan for tonight but Cass wasn't about to let that happen.

"Omg heyyyy Amara I'm so glad you came"
Cassie squeals throwing her arms around me, yeah definitely drunk.

"Yeah me to Cass, me to"

"We should go play beer pong out by the pool let's go"

"I- I don't know I usually just chill at these things, do do games or anything"

"NO FUCKING WAY we are going to go play beer pong and kick some ass"
She says dragging me outside

"K then let's go" 
As we made our way outside and to the beer pong table being reset and me and Cass on a team and Roe Andrew and the new kid on the opposing team

"Now I know I haven't known you all that long but you're good at beer pong so your wit me, what your name?"
Roe ask the new kid

"Clayton but just call me Clay"

"K I'ma call u clayto cause thats
fun let's play"
Roe wasnt a jerk like some of the jocks he was actually really funny and we're pretty good friends

"Alright then"
Me and Clay make eye contact against the table and I don't think much of it but damn he's got some pretty eyes he in general is a very pretty guy, he has dark brown hair tan skin and amber eyes, he's gorgeous and he definitely works out he's very toned.

We finished our game of beer pong and Clay and Roe won cause Roes a competitive brat.

Now I was sitting next to the pool with Cassies head on my thighs while she's passed out.

"Hey nice game tonight"
It's Clay I didnt really expect to talk to him tonight but it might be nice to

"Oh hey you to your pretty good at it"

"Yeah thanks mind if I have a seat?"

"No of course go ahead"

"So what's your name?"
He ask me

"Amara"

"Cool name I'm Clay"

"Yeah I heard"
He looks at me with a bored expression kinda, and now I realize how that just sounded.
I sounded like a bitch

"Sorry I- I didnt mean for that to come out rude it's j-just that I heard you at the beer pong table"

"Oh no it's fine honestly"

"Alright good"

"Hey do you need a ride home or her? I'd be happy to"

"Um yeah Cass probably does, and I'll come with just so I know you don't rape or kill her or anything"

"Well if it makes you feel any better I wouldn't do any of that"

"And how am I suppose to trust you I don't even know you"

"Fair point but I know you know I wouldn't do that"
He was right I don't think he would do that even if I don't know him

I loaded my bike into the back of his truck and got in the back seat with Cassies head still in my lap I'm probably gonna stay the night with her to make she doesn't get hurt.
The car ride to my house was silent neither of us saying a word.
After Clay dropped us off he helped me bring her to my room and said goodnight
Now here i am laying in bed with Cassie after holding her hair for her to puke and she's dead asleep while I'm thinking of a certain amber eyed boy

AN
Um so idk first book, first chapter I'm now actually realizing I don't have a vision for this but I'm probably gonna do a clay POV at some point or another maybe even a Cassie one so yeah honestly I'm just gonna focus on getting some kind of chapter up even if it's just a filler