Of Tales and Miscalculations

#1: Katipunan Station

When I was still young I have learned a very important thing. It is that all of us have that one special person destined to be our soul mate.

11 years old ako nung sinabi ng mama ko sakin na pagdating ko daw ng pagkabinata magkakaroon ako ng clue kung sino ang magiging soul mate ko. Tinawanan ko siya.

"Yeah right, Ma. I don't believe in fairytales." I became cynical when my dad passed away, I guess.

She smiled sadly, knowingly.

"Someday you'll understand, anak." She sighed as she gingerly touched the ink on the inside of her wrist.

***

I was 15 years old when I realized my mom was not joking.

"Araaaaayyyyy. Ma! Ang sakit ng kamay ko."

"Ha? Esmael, anak, anong nangyari?"

Naluluha na ako sa sobrang pamimilipit sa sakit. Parang may tumutusok na mga karayom sa may kanang bisig ko.

Natatakot akong tignan kung ano nangyayari. Pagdating ng mama ko pinakita ko kung ano ang nangyayari at bigla siyang tumawa.

"Bakit ka tumatawa mama? Baka mamatay na ako sa sakit dito tatawanan mo lang ako? Di mo ba ako ipapa-ospital?" naluluha kong sabi.

"Hindi na kailangan anak. You're marking. Normal lang yan."

"What? Anong marking?"

"This is the clue, anak."

Then it clicked.

"Ma! Not this soul mate thing again."

"Oh, but it's true anak. Sabi nila, ang mark daw ng tao ay symbolic sa pagkikita nila. It can be a birthmark, the first word or phrase you say to each other, or even a shape. Basta may kinalaman sa pagkikita nila."

Noong nag-numb na ang sakit, tinignan ko yung forearm ko. Inscribed on it was a phrase.

Oh shit!

"Oh goodness. You're soul mate has got some mouth. I cannot wait to meet her or him." Natatawang sabi ni mama.

"Ma. Her yun. Hindi ako bakla."

"Aba malay ko ba kung ano ang ibabato ng tadhana sayo." Humahalakhak na siya at this point.

***

It was one of those rare moments that LRT 2 was kind of full. Hindi OA na MRT 3-siksikan-full kundi medyo puno lang. Coming from Pureza station pa. Medyo odd pero nagpasalamat nalang ako sa Diyos at nakakita pa ako ng upuan.

Nang makarating na ang LRT 2 sa Anonas Station lalong dumami yung mga tao. Yung metal bar na malapit sa kinauupuan ay parang naging ilaw sa mga gamu-gamong pasahero. Lahat sila nagpaunahan dun. May isang babae na hindi nakahawak sa metal bar ng biglang tumakbo yung tren. Dahil sa lakas ng jolt nito ay natumba yung babae. Buti nalang at nasalo siya ng mga paa ko.

"Alright?" I asked the lady.

"Oh shit!" she said with a huff, "Sorry ah. And thanks."

Then she raised her eyes at me and they widened.

When she looked at me, I felt like baring my everything to her. Parang kinikilatis ng mga mata niya yung buong pagkatao ko. I felt like sharing my deepest, darkest secrets with her. I wanted so bad to hold her close and never let her go.

I felt pain in my forearm at the same time she touched the side of her neck. Peeking through her blouse were the letters "Alr-"

"It's you." We whispered at the same time.

***

Lahat ng memories ng tatay ko nagbalikan sakin. When he died, my mom was devastated. She suffered so much she almost took her own life. When I was old enough to understand the concepts of soul mates and marking, I just noticed the ink on the inside of the wrist of my mom. Sabi ng nanay ko, it once said

"You are a beauty, you know?", but the ink smudged when dad passed away.

It smudged like the memories they once had, buried 6 feet under the ground with him. Since then, my mom was never the same. She became happy again eventually, but never the same person as before.

Takot akong magkaroon ng soul mate. I don't want to be damaged like my mother at ayokong makasira ng buhay ng ibang tao. Why is it that the person you're destined to love is also the person destined to ruin you?

"Arriving at Katipunan Station. Paparating na sa Katipunan Station."

Without even a glance or asking her name, the moment the doors opened, kumaripas ako ng takbo papalabas ng tren.

I heard her shout.

"Wait! Hindi ko nakuha yung pangalan mo."

I don't care.

Hindi ko siya hahanapin. Puro araw lang ng sakit ang naghihintay para sa aming dalawa.

If fate really wants us together, then fuck fate and its ways. Edi fate ang maghanap ng paraan para makapagsama kami.

In the meantime, I will hide from fate, because if I am destined to truly love her, then I will make it damn sure with every fiber of my being to stay away from her. Because to love is to destroy and I don't want her or me crushed in the process.

Not all soul mates have happy endings.

***

// Initially, gusto ko siyang gawing masaya but what the heck? We all deserve a little angst once in a while, don't we? ;)

// Disclaimer: Excuse me for lack of proper knowledge if you see some mistakes. :)

// This chapter is dedicated to my writing mentor/partner @jegnaness. Salamat sa lahat ng oneshots mo for me. This one's for you kahit di mo to story. Hehe.