burning red • joe burrow

010

au: was not going to upload this until tmr but 1-800-BURROW wanted me to

joe was crying at this point. "try not to cry." tara said. "i'm not gonna die."

"i made a promise." tara said. the rest of the way to the hospital, she kept her eyes open.

"you can wait in the waiting room until we have some news." the nurse said.

joe sat in the waiting room for hours. jamar, evan, tee, rory, lily, and charlie were there now.

the doctor walked out. they all stood up, joe was the first to do so.

"she's ok, she can have visitors now. she might be in and out of sleep." the doctor says.

the group followed him to tara's room, then he left.

"hi." lily said. "how are you doing?"

"never better." tara said. "my lungs feel like they are going to collapse."

"uh," evan said scratching the back of his head, thinning his lips. "don't really know how to follow up that."

"how are you guys?" tara said, making conversation.

"okay," charlie said shrugging her shoulders. "but we aren't the one in the bed."

"could you go by midnight cafe and let them know i won't be at work for a couple of days?" tara asked.

"yeah, of course." rory said. "who should i talk to?"

"michelle, she's my manager." tara said.

"well," tee said. "the doctor said you might be tired, so we'll see you later."

everyone started walking out of the room. everyone was almost out. "joe?" tara said, he turned around.

"could you not go?" tara asked, he sat down in the chair next to the bed.

joe assumed that tara didn't remember what he told her, which he wasn't going to blame her for. she was dying.

"did you mean what you said?" tara asked.

"yes." joe said. so she didn't forget. he didn't say anything else, he didn't know what to say.

"so what now?" tara asked.

"you would think i thought about this part." joe said.

"are we still friends?" tara asked.

"no, well, i don't think so." joe said. "i'm not sure."

"what happened?" tara said. "how'd i get out of the fire?"

"i ran in there and i found you, then i carried you out." joe said.

"you ran into a fire?" tara said. "for me?"

"i'd walk through fire for you." joe said. "like literally."

tara didn't say anything, she just smiled. "so are you my boyfriend?" tara asked.

"i didn't ask you yet." joe said. "and i think it would be weird to ask you in a hospital. i've waited forever for this, i have to do it the right way."

"okay." tara said yawning.

"am i making you bored?" joe asked, jokingly.

"no, i'm just tired." tara said. "do you have my phone?"

"yeah," joe said handing the phone to her. "why do you need it?"

"i wanna take a picture, to remember the moment." tara said.

"why would you want to remember a moment like this?" joe said scrunching up his face.

"because you saved my life." tara said. "and what if one day i get dementia and i don't remember?"

"i doubt you're gonna get dementia, t." joe said.

"it's possible!" tara said defensively.

"you're unbelievable." joe said smiling while shaking his head.

"i know." tara said putting up her arms to show her muscles. "i almost died." joe's smile faded.

"hey," tara said softly. "don't do that, i'm fine, i'm alive."

"i just," joe said. "i thought i was going to lose you. i never want to feel like that ever."

"you don't, i doubt i'll be in a fire again." tara said.

"how do you do that?" joe asked. "you almost died and you somehow are laughing and cracking jokes."

"i don't want you to be sad or think about something that didn't happen." tara said.

"i'm gonna take a nap." tara said.

"i can go." joe said, he wanted to give her privacy.

"you can stay." tara said, she closed her eyes and was out like a light.

joe watched her sleep, she stirred a lot. he was worried she was going to have a bad dream.

• • •

while tara was falling asleep, she was thinking about how her relationship was like with joe. it was completely opposite compared to finn.

with finn, their so called love was red, burning red. tara thought that was what love was meant to be.

hearts were red, valentine's day was red, passion was red. it all made sense. but then again, anger was red, jealousy was red.

with joe, it was as golden as the daylight. joe made her feel like she was in a warm sweater.

just by breaking free from the strangling grasp of finn, her life changed.

tara always remembered what her mom told her before she passed.

"you should want to be defined by the things that you love," tara's mom told her. "not the things you hate, not the things you're afraid of, not the things that haunt you in the middle of the night. you are what you love."

and tara could say she's defined by the things that she loves, but she isn't. she isn't defined by anything.

she is her own person now.

tara has always been a fan of the feeling of finding something real. like finding real friendship or real love. finding someone that really gets you. someone that is really honest with you.

tara could truthfully say that she was happy now. and her mom had always asked her that question when she was younger.

she would always respond with yes, even if she wasn't. but now, she can actually say that she is. she just wishes her mom was here to see it.

life was feeling like a breath of fresh air.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

we love happy tara