Kintsugi (Taekook)

A white Christmas

(Trigger warning:

Mentions past trauma, domestic abuse, poverty and death of a loved one. Premature birth and related complications. )

24th December 2021, 7 PM

He knocked the door nervously while fidgeting with his baby carrier's strap.

'Stop messing with that Tae. That's only what you are left with. You don't know when you can afford a new one. Byeol needs it, even if she has almost outgrown it. She needs it when you will walk with her in your arms, trying to find a job. In this cold and snow, you can't even afford her extra clothing. This would be the best way to keep her warm. Close to your chest. And if this person doesn't agree to let you stay with them, you will need it even more.' He shivered at the thought of being homeless in the snow, in an unknown city like Seoul. His empty stomach felt even more empty at the mere possibility of carrying his daughter out of a warm shelter in this icy holiday season. But then how difficult it would be to even find a job which might give him accommodation. But then again, who would give him accommodation with a baby in his arms? And who'd look after the baby while he is at work? His life was a big mess, and then it wouldn't even sort out easily.

His inner thoughts were flying erratically, before the door opened. He really flinched and almost toppled because the floor had gotten just so slippery due to the snow he had gotten in his shoes, clearly not meant for such weather. But fortunately the owner of the place caught him in time.

"Easy there. We don't wanna wake the sleeping munchkin up, do we now? Taehyung-ssi, right?"

Tae, who was embarrassed, grateful and nervous all at the same time, nodded awkwardly. But then this kind stranger with gentle doe eyes, held him warmly by shoulder and helped him enter the small but cosy house. As soon as they stepped in, the warmth engulfed Tae. He wasn't sure if it was the change in temperature or the overall vibe of the house. But it was warm indeed. He heard the door close behind them, and somehow it made him feel less vulnerable.

It's been days since he felt that. A little less vulnerable. Shouldn't it be a basic right of a person, not to feel threatened all the time, in their own home? But who was he kidding? That place was never his home. The day he married Jiyang, shifted to that God-forsaken place, he lost his home. It was just a house where he was neglected and abused. The abuse did not start the first day, no. But the negligence did. Jiyang didn't even show him the place or ask him if he needed anything. He was just left in the living room of that lonesome 'house'; where he spent his wedding night alone, feeling 'cold' on that expensive excuse of a lounger. No, it wasn't like he was expecting something romantic from his supposed husband. He knew the marriage was out of convenience. But what he didn't expect was the arrangement to be convenient only for Jiyang and the whole of his existence to be ignored. Also what he didn't know was he would be tossed out of that house like some plastic wrapper once this new 'husband' of his gets his hands all on his late husband's business.

Yes, Taehyung lost his 'real' husband, Minjun 2 years back. Byeol was just conceived at that time. Taehyung had his hands full taking care of the surrogate and getting his baby out in the world safely. He couldn't take care of the business while mourning his lover's death and bringing up the child they both dreamed so much about. So he made a genuine mistake of trusting his husband's brother into making the decisions for him. The Jiyang he knew was always this practical and calculative business person. So he thought it would be best if he made those decisions while he focused on himself and his child, right?

Then Jiyang offered to marry him, so that he can "take the load off" of Taehyung's shoulders, and Taehyung could really use that help. But now as he looks back at it, it wasn't the help Jiyang offered. They were his own selfish motives for marrying Taehyung. He gripped Byeol closer to his chest at that thought, who wiggled a bit in sleep. All this while Taehyung was lost in his thoughts, the kind stranger had gone somewhere in the house and came back with some blankets (?).