War Lips (Harry Styles A.U.)

Chapter 5

"Why do you always do that? " His hands were in my hair while the rain sounds of his voice were fresh in my brain.

"Always do what?" I replied lazily as I breathed out the heavy intoxication of his voice.

"Act like everything is okay." His weight shifted. "As if not minutes ago you knew what I did was wrong," he further explained, "as if... As if I did not just lie to you." The rain ceased to a small drizzle.

I placed my hand on his thigh.

"You did it to protect me right?" This took him off guard. Surely he did not expect this answer.

"I hurt you by lying to you about the events. That is what is most important. If I had not lied, it would have no hurt you at all." The rain was calm and a small sound of just drips, barely audible to my sense.

If I wasn't much of someone who was so easily disillusioned by the fact that he had lied. I was more hurt by the fact that he had to cover up something so important as his mom coming over. The thing that I thought he was covering was maybe an affair at that but no, it was about his mom. Maybe he knew, or maybe had the slightest idea how much stress his mother produced on me. Then again, she was a complete sweetheart but it's not hard to feel the disappointment she felt in her heart that her son was with someone like me. I knew there was more people with my condition. It was just very hard to admit it to myself I had a birth defect. That I was forever retarded in someone else's eyes. How do you accept such a thing? The answer, in my thoughts and experience, was never.

"What are you thinking about?" The rain dragged me out of my thoughts and into the present world where this boy was laying down next to me.

"I'm sorry... What?" I placed my hand on his hip. The hands left my hair and I soon felt their arrival to my cheeks and as they caressed the sides of my face, Harry breathed out exasperated.

"Your eyes, they did like... The purple galaxies were twirling. You were thinking weren't you?" I moved my head to where his voice was omitting from.

"Yes. I am aware my eyes do strange things when I think." I felt my insides twist as I said the next thing. "Did it scare you?"

"No." His response was loud and didn't miss a second after my question. He paused. "I'm sorry. Don't ever think something like such would scare me." His thumb rubbed gently on the apple of my cheek. "I knew you were going to ask such absurd question so I didn't hesitate to respond the question to you." I felt my stomach dropped. "You're quite beautiful and those gorgeous eyes add more depth to your beauty. Plus, I can see just how deep and old your soul is. It fascinates me, Emma." I felt the rain in my brain really hard but with passion. I was just so... Love struck by this boy. The first to call me by my first name. Something my parents wouldn't do. They didn't have the heart to even say my name. And they even acted as if that was not my name.

I was then soon once again, engulfed into my deep thoughts as he dragged me back out, insisting to get me into the reality.

"What did you say? I'm sorry, I was thinking." It seemed he had stopped talking. A few brief seconds flew by.

Silence.

"Sorry, I just.. what does that beautiful mind have going on in there? A penny for your thoughts?" I giggled as I felt him thrust a small coin into my hand that was at the moment, on his hip.

"Why do you always seem to give me a penny whenever you want to know exactly what it is that I'm thinking?" Putting the penny into my pocket and placing my hand onto his hip once more, he drew out a long breath. A sigh.

"Well you see- Er.. As you know, I find you very interesting actually. So I know that a thought of yours is priceless but a penny is what I always seem to have on me no matter the occasion. It's all I have to offer for right now really.. " His voice trailed off as well as the rain. Given the circumstance, I pulled myself up over him now. As I placed my face near to where his voice was, I felt something wet. Automatically my hands went up to his face I thought it was. And yet, I was correct. His face held tears.

"Why do you weep?" My voice sounded a bit high towards the ending of my voice. A sign of distress. His hands left my face and pushed my hands off his face.

"It's nothing."

"How is it not nothing?"

"Let it go, Emma." His voice growled with caution. I felt timidly frighten but did not let it reach me.

"How? You're my boyfriend. What is wrong?"

He snapped.

"I said to let it go, Emma." I felt the bed creak and groan deeply as his warm body pushed me up and off him. The bed was then empty.

"Harry.. I'm sorry.." The heavy pitter-patter of feet had been decreasing to just barley a whisper in the hallways of the small house he had bought for himself originally.

What a simple and such childish thing to be bothered by!

I managed to sit up and swing my legs to the side of the bed, toes barley caressing the cool wooden floors. I got up and placed my hands out in front of me trying to touch anything that would involve an unpleasant smack in the face. The sounds of my own feet were quiet as they echoed off the walls of the small hallway.

"Em," the rain was loud and the overwhelming scent of fresh wet earth made me feel just so beautifully adored for a small second.

"Harry?" Hands reached out to the direction of his voice.

I woke up. A memory in a dream about what had happened the first nights of living together were so intact that they appeared in my dreams. It would only be a matter of time before I could figure out what was a memory and a simple hopeful dream. Tears began to stream down my face as I rolled over the other side of the bed. I was half expecting Harry would be there. Yet he wasn't.