How Do You Say Goodbye

Chapter Three

When dinner finally over, Abby rose from the table, crossed over to my chair, and whispered in my ear, "It's all right. I'll clear the table. You go up and dress. I know you want to look your best for your date tonight. I saw it in your eyes before, and I wanted you to know how happy I am for you---and that I understand."

Suddenly the bell rang.

"Oh, no!" I cried.

I stared at the door. I stared at my sister. How could everything be so right and so wrong at the same moment? Abby thought what she saw in my eyes had to do with my feelings about Dale! She thought it was Dale who had made my eyes look so bright, who was making me act this way. And why shouldn't she? She knew I was dating him and that I was seeing him tonight. She knew that he was standing in front of the house, leaning on the bell so eagerly that the chimes were bouncing off the ceiling like church bells inside a church on Sunday morning.
What she didn't know was how I felt about Xander. How could she? I myself had only met him, so how could she assume it could be any one but Dale? And yet, I was furious with her.

As Dad rushed to the door, i turned to Abby and sputtered, "You think---I mean, you thought---!"
"It's all right," she said soothingly, patting me on the back. "Don't be embarrassed. I'm your sister, and I've been thinking that we haven't been close enough lately. But all that's going to change from now on. So you don't have to feel embarrassed with me anymore."

"Embarrassed? Embarrassed!" was all I could manage to hiss between my teeth.

Then, hearing my father lead Dale into the living room, I pushed past my sister and ran up to my room. I was too angry. Too exasperated, too rushed, even too happy to help her out of her confusion. Her eyes were on me as I stormed up the stairs, two at a time. Even after I slammed the door behind me I could feel her still staring after me, but I didn't have the time to do any thing about it.

I heard Mom return from the kitchen and discover that I hadn't cleared a thing off the table. I could hear her sniffing and complaining about me to Abby, and then I could hear Abby---not the words exactly, but her oh-so-mature and consoling tone. She was probably saying something like, "Ava's in love, Mom."

"Athena? You mean, my Athena?" Mom probably responded with her eyes as wide as two fried eggs.

And then, in that same even, soft tone again, Abby was probably saying, "Of course, YOUR Athena. What other Ava would I be referring to? Mom, you're just resisting. You have to face it. Ava's in love. And, since falling in love is like a state of madness, we will have to excuse Ava's behavior for the time being. I'll clear the table."

Half of me wished Abby would forget the table and come up and talk to me the way I'd thought she was going to earlier. I wanted to set her straight, and even more, I just wanted to say Xander's name out loud. But the other half of me was grateful that she was taking charge downstairs. At least she was keeping Dale busy.
As I tore off my clothes, I could hear Abby joking with Dale, and then I heard plates clattering, which meant she was clearing the dishes as well. Meanwhile, I was rapidly becoming guilty of the rude, rude, rude offense of lateness to quote my mother.

In twelve minutes I emerged showered, shiny, and miserable. I clomped down the stairs in my clogs, and Dale jumped up when he saw me.

"I'm really sorry I'm so late," I apologized.

"But dinner just went on and on tonight."

Dale didn't seem to hear me. "You look---you look sparkling new," he sort of whispered in a rush, as if he couldn't help himself.

"I do?" I said, melting. I'm not the kind of person who's so secure that when a compliment comes along. I can just take it or leave it. I mean, I'm confident that I look good. All right, that I'm even pretty. But not that confident!
Which is why I can't treat compliment casually. I have to hear it, and I have to ask, "Do you really mean it?" and then, maybe, I can leave it.
So I said to Dale, "I do? I mean do you really mean it?"