I AM MORE THAN ENOUGH

Titre du Chapitre

We always hear about BODY POSITIVITY but do we really know what that means or what it stands for ? Well I will like to enlighten you on that '' BODY POSITIVITY '' is the fact of feeling good about your body and the way it looks. Body Positivity involves loving your body regardless of Shape, Size, Color or Ability, and it stands for gaining your confidence. In a society where many are lost trying to fit in the beauty standards build by the environment they are surrounded by . With social media many turn to compare themselves with what they visualize as the '' PERFECT BODY ' 'or '' PERFECT SIZE ''  and that image they create in their head as the representation of  Perfection . The real question is does PERFECTION exist the answer is NO , it doesn't. What are the inquiries you need   as a person to be acknowledge as perfect or who created these characteristics of Perfectionism ? HUMANS , THE SOCIETY we leave in are the generators of all these substitutes that are being proclaimed as PERFECTIONISM. It doesn't matter if you are a girl or a boy , white , black, tall , short , chubby, slim, critics on one's physic don't know gender , nor race Anybody can be a victim . As a person you should be able to have '' SELF  ESTEEM '' and know that you are more than enough regardless of what anyone says. Having ''Self Esteem ''  is how WE value and perceive OURSELVES , key word WE which stands for  you as a person not Them but YOU and YOU alone. The only opinion That should matter to you is what you think about yourself, you should be  able to affirm to yourself this ( I love the skin I am in because that's my identity that's who I am as a person , I feel confortable therefore people opinions about my looks don't Matter) . Once you create that mindset it becomes your defense mechanism and a barrier to all the negativities that might be thrown your way. Remember the mind only adapt to what you accept,  if people tell you ( oh you are too slim or oh you are too chubby ...etc ) your response should be ( I know and I LOVE  what I am ) your response should reflect your Self Esteem. You should never feel oppress in becoming who you are not , the choice should always be yours and yours alone .  One thing about people who try to bully you on your looks , is that most of the time, they are  the insecure ones so they try to reverse their insecurities unto you. Once you feel confortable in yourself you aspire CONFIDENCE , and  that is one thing people nor society can't break . Most of the people you see on social media and you turn to compare yourself to them ( oh I am not good looking enough I wished I look like him or her) , then who will want to look like you ? If you don't love yourself enough how can you expect or demand love from others,  YOU should be your biggest cheerleader before expecting others to follow along. One thing about COMPARAISON is ,it opens door to Questioning who you are, the moment you start comparing yourself to others, insecurities that didn't exist start building up in your head and remember the mind only approves of what you want it to.

    Two years ago in 2020 I use to see this little girl eat at the bus stop during lunch break and it happens that their school was just four or five minutes from the bus stop. On my way to school I always saw her there with such a sad face on,  until I decided to approach her one day and talk to her.

'' Hi are you okay ? '' I asked

'' Yeah I ... I am fine thank you '' she responded with such a gentle voice.

'' Sorry to ask why do you always eat here during your lunch break, I have noticed you are always alone , don't you have friends...? '' I saw the wave of sadness on her face when I mention friends, then I stop

'' I ... No I don't have friends anymore ''
The first word that captured my attention was ANYMORE that signified she had friends and something might have happened. So I continued my questioning,  my urge to know what happen was very obvious .

' ' please If you don't mind me asking what happen ? Don't be scared my dear you can talk to me
She looked so scared and kept silent for a while before responding

'' I created an Instagram account and posted some pictures, my friends from school always drop mean comments that makes me feel very bad '' she finally responded

'' What do they comment on your pictures? ''

'' They say  (the big girl has Instagram, you won't have any likes ) they really comment only mean stuffs and they even showed my Instagram page to everyone in class , now people make fun of me ''

'' Why because you have Instagram ? '' I asked her

'' Because ... because of how I look , they call me fat and also say people won't like my pictures because I don't fit in the profil of Instagram...'' after those words she started tearing up

A huge vague of  pain took over me at that moment but I knew that was not the time for me to be all emotional ,  I needed to educate  her on self esteem and body positivity. I asked her how old she was and she said fifteen years old.

'' Please listen to me you are a very beautiful young girl you should not listen to the negative comments that people say about you, you need to love yourself enough not to care about what others have to say. There is nothing wrong with your look or your size , that is who you are and you should appreciate that enough and not see it as a problem . People don't have to love you neither do they have to like how you look but you should be able to love every bit of who you are my dear you are more than enough , and those bullies shouldn't make you think otherwise. Stand up for yourself, tell your family, your teachers to that they will call those students to order  okay ! '' I  explained to her

'' But I am scared if I tell my teachers and they scold them things might get worse for me... ''

'' No you shouldn't be scared you need to be courageous and strong while standing up for yourself, the more  you show them that you are scared , the more they will continue to intimidate you , speak up, speak up my dear so those bullies can be stop ''

'' You are right I am beautiful just that I am     fat ''

'' Being chubby is not an issue you should never think of it as one , beauty doesn't know if you are slim, chubby , tall , short or any thing else, as long as you fell confortable in your skin and confident do not allow anyone tell you otherwise because you are so gorgeous '' when l said those words l saw a smile lighting up on her face , we exchanged numbers I told her to call me or send me a message if those student bullied her again and I come see the principal myself . At my biggest surprise I didn't see her at the bus stop the next day , so I texted her to know if everything was good. She responded and told me she told her mother when she got back home what was going on , and the next day her mum went to complain about the harassment, and cyber bullying her daughter has been going through for weeks. The students in question were suspended and call to other . As weeks went by I will always call or text to check up on her. After weeks she told me everything was now okay that those girls don't come close to her anymore and she isn't afraid anymore to stand up for herself if they attempted to bully her again, and she had made new friends too. I felt so proud of her like she was my kid sister, I also had the opportunity to met her mum .

I learned so much from that situation, in as much as I was trying to help that girl I also learned that our words and actions are more POWERFUL than we think, it can either BUILD SOMEONE or DESTROY THEM. We shouldn't allow Society determine who we are. If you ever face any form of BULLYING or BODY SHAMING STAND UP for YOURSELF, TALK TO YOUR PARENTS, FAMILY, IF It is in SCHOOL talk to your TEACHERS, PRINCIPAL anyone who can HELP but NEVER STAY ALONE or KEEP IT TO YOURSELF THINKING NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO YOU OR HELP YOU .

YOU ARE NEVER ALONE ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT .