Sunsets Sunrise and Mistletoe

Chapter 1: The Nightmare

POV: Lucy 

You can see it. The sunrise, its beautiful the way the pink and blue and purple all blend creating an an alluring presence. It draws you in and takes your breath away luring you in and pushing you out when the sun comes out and you regain your senses how can you learn to live and love, if you don't know what love feels like. Love is just a chemical reaction. A lot of people stereotype and say only men use that phrase, but that's bullshit anyone can use that just depends if you believe it, do I believe it I don't know what to believe anymore.
But one thing I do know is while I stand on this ledge feeling alone and unwanted that mysterious cloak of invisibility wraps itself around me, my chest tightens my breath hitches and those invasive and intrusive through invade my brain once more as I fight with every inch of me to not let them get to me this time its strong. I shift my weight onto another foot shutting my eyes and exhaling,

"Please go away", I plead even though I know that won't make a difference they will always haunt me with or without medication as I tried to tell my doctor but of course they know best.

I slowly reach for my phone in the back pocket of my jeans, and I think why the fuck would I wear slim fit jeans.

The thoughts slowly start becoming louder just like they always do my mind whirring the familiar haziness swallowing me whole, my legs become weak, I slowly start to fall but not down, no I fall back I open my mouth to scream but nothing comes out which confuses me even more. Two broad arms catch my knocking the wind out of my lungs but I am grateful either way, maybe I came here to end it but I came here to end it on my own terms in a place that I love, alone just like I have always been.

"I got you", the deep voice soothes as I slowly regain my breath. I glance up to see who saved me but its HIS face, why is it HIS face. The voice sounds so familiar. "Come here", it cooed but its far away its not coming from HIS mouth it cant be, I feel my palms start to sweat as the anxiety comes back followed by flashbacks and memories, I was asking for it I tell myself before looking back at me. He shoots me a wicked grin it's the same grin he looked at me with when he left me on that cold concrete floor, blood dripping from most parts of my body, vision going black. I wasn't ready to accept death then and I survived I escaped death, but I've come to terms with myself and I will not suffer at the hands of HIM again.
I turn around jumping of the ledge I go to scream but realise there is no point I did this to myself I was asking for it. I curl up in a tuck position as the ground below me creeps closer and the mountains push inwards. This is the end I think, this is how I go from being a fucking coward just like I always was.

I sit up screaming, sobs leaving my mouth, sweat dripping down my forehead, my bed sheets soaked with sweat. As I slowly start to calm down and realise it was just another one of my nightmares a familiar scent hits my nose and I cringe painfully at the memory. My jaw drops as I lower my vision to the lump lying beside me it's HIS cologne, that same citrus scent him and his stupid fucking company makes. I scramble out of bed and realise I'm indecent I search around for clothes but realise mine aren't here. In a frantic panic I rush over to his walk-in closet trying to grab the nearest thing to me, I drop a bucket of hangers which is surprisingly noisier than it should be, this terrifies me even more but I'm too busy to glance over my shoulder to see if HE has woken up. When I feel two strong arms wrap around my waist the citrus scent hitting again that's when I know I'm screwed. I struggle against his arms pushing and thrusting ever part of me against his will. I don't want this. Not again, never again.

"Calm down and stay still", he says venom filling his tone, those are the same words he said to me on the night when he drugged my drink and carried me to the basement of his best friend's house. No, I can't think about that as I push away the thoughts, I realise I've stopped struggling and I'm over his shoulder as he carries me back to bed. I hit and scratch and punch and pinch and do everything but he doesn't bug, it's almost as if though he can't hear me as if I'm not even there, then I think of the invisibility cloak and how it still feels as though it's still wrapped around me.

"NO!", I scream sitting up and letting the bad stims leave my body. "No, No,No,No.NOO!", I scream as my breath quickens and the hyperventilation begins. I'm in the hospital I notice I'm where I'm supposed to be, a sigh leaves me and a nurse enters the room.

"Miss Cartinez are you okay?", she questions nice enough. But a wave of anger rushes through me,

"Do I look fine!", I scream between strangled breaths, she is startled by this and runs over to the medicine cart to grab what looks like an anaesthetic and my normal meds. I let her give me them just wanting this awful night to end.

The familiar black haze is upon me again but this time I'm at ease with it, I just want to go to sleep and have a peaceful night but I know that will never be possible.