"Please just help me."
The only reason I decided to harm
was because I believed it would make me feel calm
I did it to help me numb away my real pain and replace it with physical pain
but I didn't realise that it was insane
I just thought it was normal
and if I wanted to ask for help how should I do it without sounding informal
how do I do it without being seen differently
or being given childish attention ever so frequently
because that is not what I want
I just asked for help but in a different font
help as in just for someone to listen to me
whether its during a nice cup of tea
or even in the the school library
wherever it is all I want is a pair of ears
in which will allow me to speak of all my fears
without feeling judged or frowned upon
because my story is not as pretty as a swan
in fact what I hide away in my brain
slowly makes me seem insane
filling my head with dark clouds full of rain
of how I am tired and no real emotions even remain
but not the type of tired
when an old person gets retired
the type of tired where you only ever want to sleep
because your mind is tired from all this never ending repeat
of days which are beginning to feel like a cycle
absorbing me with thoughts of being suicidal.
"Please just help me"
for can't you see
this is not the way I used to be.
