My Two Souls (Finding Myself)

Chapter 1

Having a family is a wonderful thing to have in the world specially if you are a female. If your family is big and financially stable then that becomes a whole better.
I have that and my family members all have their different mindsets and that what makes the family. What saddens me is that even knowing that we all have different mindsets the society we live in controls our private affairs. We seem to be dancing to people's tunes and those people are having opinions about the things they wish they can have but are making other people become miserable because they can't seem to have it.

Well sorry to be starting with sobby stories that I guess alot of you know about now. Living in a small town that is filled with rich snobs can make one have so many opinions without being able to voice them out.
Being named after my late famous grandmother Londie Crain Mkhize has made me famous and miserable in my small town.

I'm the second last born of seven children in my mother's side with my father having twenty children from his multiple wives. I'm done with school and seem to be the only female child among the older ones who doesn't have a suitor and that has made my non social life even more popular. Having a reputable family the rumours of me not being able to attract any suitors in my town it has my father switch his attention from his business to me and that it is now what everyone in this household is speaking about finding me a suitor as am unable.

In my household we grew up with the beliefs my father was taught of when he was still a child that a male has a certain role to play in a society as well as his house and the female too has a role to play. He is the one who has the final say in my home and the one who has the voice to speak out whenever he likes. Knowing the literal way of thinking we all know that a woman doesn't have a voice and young boys are nurtured while young to follow their father's steps to have a successful household later in life.

My father was unfortunate to have only five boys with females the rest. He was only lucky to have a male as a first born. Having that privilege he's your typical father that will force and manipulate you to do things the way he wants so you can earn his acceptance and that is what my older brother, Zwelibanzi, is doing in order to earn my father's approval.

Back to the matter, there were alot of suggestions my brothers and father had made for me to be wed so our reputation won't be tarnished. "I suggest that sister go out alot to the events father always attend to attract suitors on her way", "I suggest that sister should mingle more with her female age mates so the suitors will be able to access her easily", "I think my sister should find suitor when she feels it is time to date", lastly that was our older brother Zweli who not only shocked me but even father with his poor suggestion in putting a female above the status of our family being tarnished, but then he is not the head and with father regaining his shocked posture he finally said something which was terrible "I have decided that she will go and live with my brother for this year then maybe she will return with a suitor meeting dismissed". With that he left, I was still shocked, angry, shaking but there is no voice a female can voice out in this place.