Stars

Prologue.

I dropped on the floor, heart aching, head spinning. Shock- bombshell no that could not explain. Agony, distress affliction not even that would analyze. Sadness, anguish, dejection none of these words could justify how i feel. Nothing, that explains. Useless, that would do but death is a whole different story this is not what i felt this is what i was experienced.

Picture this, you're going into your senior year soon and you have the perfect relationship sure which had your rough patches once or twice.. Or three times but you fixed it. Let me take you to a fantasy where you could actually see your future with somebody where you had your own personal therapist. You are your own diary but to keep the diary closed you have a padlock but only that special somebody had the key too. But the key is gone it's melted, vanished. It's like you misplaced it difference is, you know its not misplaced its dissolved.. non existent. This use to be my world but my key , my boyfriend is dead.

Non existent.

Astray.

He had cancer, but he didn't tell me, im angry and hurt but i understand. I don't want to understand but i do. He loved me enough that every day he knew he was slipping. Every hug he knew he was falling. Every kiss he knew it would never last. All this to keep me safe.

Im antagonised , angry not at him, but at myself, i should have known i should have realised and questioned him but he was so good at hiding things i didn't realise, however this is no excuse. Maybe i could have helped.

Maybe it wasn't too late.

Every time i saw him he'd hypnotise me into falling in love with him all over again.

And you know what the worse thing is, i never got to say goodbye.