Ziddi Dil Maane Na: Kahaaniyan

OS: Choice

Idk why am I here. Or why am I even writing this. This. Is. Not. Good.  The theme here, I liked it. Might get me canceled or something, but it's just my thoughts out in words with my fave characters. 

I could have done much better. But I was out of time. And I had to write this before I forgot the plot. I don't like it too much, but I hope it'll suffice until the next part comes! 

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The training for the day was over. Sanjana almost rushed back to her room. Today, the first batch of Parakram commandos had returned from their first mission. Perhaps, they'd be tired.

With this in mind, she took a quick round to the mess, and returned with an ice pack and a bottle of warm water.

She pushed open the dorm room, expecting to see Monami as excited as she was. But to her surprise, Monami was sitting on the bed. Staring at the ground, lost in her thoughts.

Sanjana walked to her quietly, and sat next to her.

"Monami."

She immediately looked up, smiling a little.

"Uh..hi.." she said, looking at the ground. Sanjana noticed that she definitely seemed a little uneasy.

"Aaj...tera mission kaisa gaya? Humne suna ki mission successful raha" She asked, concerned.

"Uhh, right. Mission successful tha. No causalities....on our side." She replied, a little absent-mindedly.

"Toh fir tera chehra kaike laane lataka hua hai? Kuch hua kya?" She asked, keeping a hand on her shoulder.

"Sanjana, tum n--"

"Ab tu je bolegi hum zyaada soch rao hai. Jhuth bolna tera talent na hai. Chal bata, ka hogo. Hum sun rahe hai." Sanjana said, getting up and occupying the space right in front of her. Monami sighed, finally giving in.

"Aaj mission pe, maine...Maine kisi ko maara. I shot him. I...vo...Maine use dekha. Marte hue. I didn't like it. Not one bit. I didn't like it Sanjana." Monami half whispered, her voice breaking as she reached the end of her words.

Sanjana sighed, taking her hand. She looked at her, her eyes, waiting to hear more. As if on cue, Monami continued.

"Mujhe laga tha I can take it. Maine bodies dissect ki hai. I've seen dead people before. But...I don't know Sanjana. Jin haatho ne na jaane kitno ko jaan di hai, unhi ne Aaj jaan le li, ...shayad aur kitno ki lenge. How do you do it? Kya...kya mai iske capable nahi hu? What if....papa sahi the? Am I not made for this..?" She asked, looking at Sanjana.

Sanjana sighed, closing her eyes.

"Monami, hum samajhto hai."

Monami shifted against the bed frame, bringing her knees to her chest. Sanjana followed, and sat next to her, cross legged.

"Tu jaanti hai, humne sabse pehle kisi ki jaan li thi 5 saal pehle. Hum....jaante the ki aisa din aayega. Uss din ke baad hum 3 hafto tak so nahi paaye the. Hum toh, khudko prepare karne ke baad bhi ladkhada gaye." She said with a sad smile, looking at particularly nothing on the wall.

"Sab ladkhadate hai. Par...iska matlab je na hai ki tu kamjor hai. Iska matlab je hai ki tere seene me dil hai Monami." She said looking at Monami.

"Sanjana, how do soldiers live with it? Ye jaanke ki...unhone kisi ki jaan li hai? And after all this, is sab ka point kya rehta hai? Humme aur humaare dushmano me kya fark rehta hai, agar dono ke hi haatho pe khoon hai?" Monami asked, the pain visible on her face.

"Je...toh hume bhi na pata Monami.." Sanjana murmured.

"Par hum itna jaanto hai, ki hum humaare dushman na hai. Maana ki unko haatho par khoon hai. Aur humaare bhi. Fark itna hai, ki unhone kisi nirdosh se uski saansien li hai. Aur humne kisi nirdosh ko saansein di hai. Kisi ki jaan li hai, toh hazaro ko jaan di hai. Je sochkar hi chain ki neend so paate hai Monami. Aisi bohot cheeze hai, jo training me na sikhaayi jaato hai, aur na hi form me likhaayi jaato hai." She said, as Monami heard intently.

"Desh ke laane...kayi balidan dene hote hai. Unme se iske saath jeena bhi ek balidan hai Monami. Sach kahe toh...aaj bhi kabhi kabhi humaaye haayh kaampte hai kisi ko maarne me. Darr lagta hai ki kahi hume iski aadat na ho jaaye." She said quietly.

"Mushkil hai na ye. Being who we are." Monami said silently, resting her head against the frame.

"But, desh ke liye agar mar sakte hai, toh desh ke liye iske saath jee bhi sakte hai." Monami said, determination reflecting in her voice. Sanjana looked at her, smiling.
Karan sirji ne sahi chuna hai.

"Hmm..."

"Bura na maano toh ek question pooch sakti hu?"

"Pooch."

"Tum ye sab kise batati thi? Jo sab mai tumhe bata rahi hu?" Monami asked softly.

Sanjana remained silent, thinking.

"Kisi ko nahi. Humaaye.... koi khaas dost na the." She said, a little silently.

"Hmm...vaise...we can be friends right?" Monami smiled.

"Je dost vost ki zaroorat na hai hume. Humaaye paas Kritika aur Laxmi hai." She said proudly, before getting off the bed and walking to her own bed. She suddenly stopped, remembering something.

"Aur haan, vo....tere laane hum je leke aaye the..." she said handing Monami the ice pack and hot water bottle. Monami smiled.

Thodi tedhi hai, but her heart is in the right place. Nice choice Sid.