those crochets.

irl, notes, suria's.

i put the notes inside the envelope back. i ran outside and cry loudly.

“oh god, why? why you need to do this to me?”

i say while crying. my heart feels so heavy. i don't know how to express this feelings. i just cry, over and over again.

after several minutes, my tears already dried. i feel like i don't have any tears anymore. i got up and walk slowly without energy to home.

the door to the room was pushed open, eyes staring blankly without emotions. legs strengthened for the way to the study table.

i take one sticky note that i always use to write notes for farel.

i start writing another notes for him, even though he already at the other universe. living happily, maybe.

i write while crying but with no tears at all.

---

dear my Farel,

i'm sorry, sweetheart.

i didn't mean to ignore you,
ghosted you.

i'm not moved on yet. i lied
to myself.

i still love you, it's hurt.

i'm sorry, it's all my fault.

fly high, my love.
see you in the other universe.
if we meet again.

- suria, your angel