promises : lee heeseung

goodbye

Alone, sitting alone in this empty bedroom, waiting and longing for this battle to be over. This pain, this loneliness, it makes you sick. All she wanted was for her husband to come home to her with a smile just as he promised. She imagined him carrying a bouquet of her favorite flowers, wearing those dorky suspenders and that cute bowtie (but she thought he looked good anyway), but hoping this day would come could only cause so much anguish in someone's mind. It's not gonna happen.

She should have never agreed when he said he wanted- no, needed to serve in the military to help their country out in these trying times, maybe she should've just held him back. But even if she begged, Jungkook's mind was already set on leaving and serving his country more than anything else. Don't worry, at least he promised to come back in one piece anyway. Min never believed this, but something inside of her hoped that he would come back one day, in one piece. That she could bask in his warmth again and stay in bed all day talking about their future together. Maybe one day she could hear his angelic voice again, singing cheesy love songs to her, or wake up in the morning to feel his love and his affection. That was something she always hoped for. It sounded selfish, but this is what every wife wants when they're away from the one they married.

Their marriage wasn't perfect– actually, it was far from perfect. Jungkook and Min never were close, to begin with. They only met each other in high school where Min stayed in school after hours and tried to get things off of her mind, whereas Jungkook playing his guitar in the corner, noticed a lovely lady with such worry and trouble on her mind. Somehow, she still looked beautiful even then. How could he have never noticed her? She seemed the same age as him, probably even in the same class! It was a regret to not have known of her existence, but at least now he does. From there, they talked and got carried away, laughing loudly as if nobody could hear them, but on their way back to the front of the school, they saw a light approaching them from the end of the hallway coming from the security guard's flashlight. Hastily grabbing her hand, Jungkook quickly runs away with her and hides in the classroom, laughing quietly. That's how their 24-year relationship started.

Min was never the type to flaunt this relationship they had. Jungkook was the one who wanted to brag about it- to scream to the world and all of his friends that he was dating the loveliest of all human beings and that they were getting married. But she wanted to keep it a secret and purge any kind of talk about them, keeping it lowkey so that only their families and close friends would know, afraid of judgment and well... afraid that something could ruin their relationship once people know. Rumors spread easily these days- it's the way the world goes.

She recalled the day her husband forthright asked her to be his wife out of the blue. There they were, sitting on their wooden dinner table, wine glasses on the table, hands intertwined from across each other. A small smile appeared on Jungkook's face as he poured her a new wine glass, handing it to her. In confusion, Min chugs it in one go (as her lover dared her to finish it nonstop), but before she swallows the last drop, a metallic taste is caught on her tongue and she spits out a ring. She looked down at it, astounded by the beauty of it- simple, yet perfect. Man, this probably cost a fortune. 'Will you marry me?' was written inside the engagement ring. This was way too romantic- how could she ever have said no?

These memories pictured in her head were instilled in her heart and her soul, each one of them special and significant to her. She wished that these moments could stay forever. This sadness- this pain filling her chest- she hoped this wasn't a premonition from the heavens that something bad was about to happen, because if something bad did happen to the love of her life, oh, she could never forgive herself. If she loses him, she would lose herself and have no reason for living anymore.

Except, something bad did happen to her one and only Jeon Jungkook. Hearing a knock on the door, she snaps out of her lucid trance and opens the door for the person, only to be greeted by military personnel holding Jungkook's uniform in his hands and a ring on top of it. Seemingly in denial, Min covers her mouth in shock, tears naturally pooling in her eyes and slowly slipping down her cheek. "No... No... You've gotta be lying to me..". She was so close to breaking. Her heart was shattered, and her mind couldn't take it– but she had to be strong. She took a deep breath and accepted his clothing, hugging it tightly and forcing a smile at the man in front of her. "Thank you.."

The officer wishes his sincere condolences to her and exits, but once he does, Min immediately drops to the floor, wailing and sobbing, holding her husband's uniform close to her chest. She closes her eyes, letting the fact that her lover, her best friend, her husband, her world was gone sink in. The heartbreaking part of it is that she didn't even get to see him in his last moments. All of it is gone. All the domestic mornings, all the nights where he'd do nothing but cradle her in his arms to sing some songs to her, all the times he talked about having a family with her, his comforting scent– all of it was gone.

One day, she'd be okay. Would she be? But up until her last breath, all she yearned for was her husband's scent, her husband's touch. Never had she ever moved on from him, because he was the first and last person she'd wanna love in this life and her future life. She wished upon a star and closed her eyes, laying in her bedroom alone. She's lost everything in her life, she doesn't have a family, she doesn't have any children, and all her friends are married and content. There was no reason for her to live.

"I just wanna be with you... At least in my next life...Please... That's all I want... is that too much to ask..?" She asked weakly and vulnerably, one more tear rolling down her cheek. She was resolute in meeting her lover in her next life, even for the shortest of times, even just for a second, she looked forward to feeling his warmth, his touch, hearing his soft voice whisper sweet nothings into her ear. Someday, one day, she was going to be happy with him, just like he promised. 

A/n: i cried :) you're welcome guys <3