Tododeku Stuff

Hidden Weakness

⚠TRIGGER WARNING⚠

This story contains topics of: 

-Depression

-Self-harm

-Suicidal thoughts

-Bulimia 

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY AND OR SUFFER FROM ANY OF THESE TOPICS

Read with caution, please enjoy :)

~Izuku POV~

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BE-

I shut my alarm off and groaned, another shitty day, I thought to myself. I slowly got up, still groggy, and walked to the bathroom to pee. I went back to my room to get dressed, my room was a complete mess, it was hard to find anything in this pig stye. Once I was dressed I walked out to eat breakfast, greeted by a note on the fridge from my mom,

   Izuku, I have been called into work today, I won't be home for dinner. You may go over to Todorki's house if you would like. Love you, honey, and have a great day!

Well, I guess I'll ask Sho if I could come over again tonight. We've been dating for 3 months now, he's used to me coming over since my mom is constantly working because we are struggling financially. I threw the note away and walked over to the cupboard to see what we had to eat, toast again, I thought. I've had toast for breakfast every morning for about a month now, but it is what it is. I ate 4 pieces of toast, I soon felt full, I hate feeling full. I threw away my plate and walked to the bathroom and up to the toilet lifting the lid. I bent over the bowl and began to stick my fingers deep down my throat before gagging, my eyes welling up with tears. Once I was done with that part of my morning routine I brushed my teeth, grabbed my bag, got in my car, and drove off to school.

~~~TIME SKIP TO AFTER SCHOOL~~~

Sho had agreed to have me over, and as usual, we went to his room and cuddled in his bed. " Are you okay Izu?" he asked me, my breath hitched. " Yeah, why do you ask?" I looked up to see his face, " You've just seemed off lately, that's all," he said with a worried tone. " I'm perfectly fine," I smiled at him reassuringly, god how much I wanted to tell him. We cuddled until we fell asleep. I woke up to the sight of his precious sleeping face, I kissed his lips gently to wake him up. 

~~~TIME SKIP TO SCHOOL~~~

I was sitting in the classroom trying to pay attention to what Aizawa-sensei was saying. I was fiddling with my fingers, looking at the ground through my legs, impatiently waiting for the last bell of the day to ring. Once the bell rang I sprung up out of my seat and headed out the door, making sure I didn't noticeably wobble around from being dizzy. 

~~~TIME SKIP TO HOME~~~

Laying in bed contemplating everything, my head was spiraling out of control. They all HATE you, you're fat, you don't fit in, you deserve to DIE. I get up and walk over to my drawer, picking up a small box and carefully opening it. I look inside to see all of my blades, the only escape I have from this pain other than Sho. I pick one up, put the box away, and sit on the bed. I pulled my pants down revealing my scared thighs. When I was done with that I cleaned up and put my blade away, I then walked out to greet my mom in the kitchen. " Hi, mom!" I put on a fake smile and hugged her, " Hey Izuku, how is my baby?" she asked. " I'm good," I hate lying to my mom, but I couldn't burden her with all of my problems. We talked for a few minutes until dinner was ready, " Ooo, this looks so good mom," I exclaimed. She blushed and said thank you as I continued to eat as much of it as I could, putting my silverware down when I was done, and went to the bathroom. Doing the same thing I have done for a year now, faucet; on, toilet seat; up. I get on my knees and go on with it. I brush my teeth when I'm done and head to bed, saying goodnight to my mom. Closing my eyes, hoping I don't wake up in the morning.

~~~TIME SKIP 2 MONTHS LATER~~~

I was in the middle of releasing stress when I heard my door open, my head jolts to my door to see who it is while I try to hide what I was doing. I see Shoto, stunned. He ran over to me, grabbing the blade out of my hand and hugging me tightly. " Why, why would you do this to yourself," he sobbed, hearing him cry broke me. I hugged him back, " I just want to disappear!" I cried for the first time in a while, he let go of me and looked me in the face while holding my cheeks. " The pain, the stress, everything it's...it's just all too much!" I continued, " You're the only thing that makes me feel sane...". He just looked at me with sympathy in his beautiful multi-colored eyes. " I know baby, it will all be better," he kissed me on the forehead before picking me up and putting me in his car. We drove to the hospital and he called my mom, I was terrified about her reaction. When I saw my mom she cried, but was so nice and caring, why did I expect anything different? I told the doctors everything and they suggested inpatient immediately. 

~~~TIME SKIP 2 WEEKS LATER~~~

I get released for outpatient today, I was excited to see Sho regularly again. My mom picked me up and when I got in the car I saw she had brought Shoto. "Sho-Kun!" I yelled in excitement, "Hi love" he calmly smiled. We hugged almost the entire way home, I was nervous to be back home. I know they looked through my room and took everything dangerous out, which was good, but for some reason made me upset. But the good thing is that Sho is staying with us for the time being to keep an eye on me.  We walked into the house and I slowly walked back to my room to see it way neater than before, Shoto's bags sitting on the bed. My eyes began to tear up, Sho saw this and hugged me, kissing me on the head. " Hey, it's okay Izu, I'm here" Sho calmly spoke to me. I'm here. For some reason that sentence made my heart flutter. I looked up at him and kissed his soft lips with a smile, our lips departed and he wiped the tears off my face and kept his hands on my face cupping my cheeks. " I love you Izuku," he stated with a smile, my eyes teared up again but this time I was smiling, for these were tears of happiness....happiness? Yes, happiness, pure and utter joy filling my soul. " I love you too Sho!" I almost yelled back, I felt complete again with him by my side. My hidden weakness, no longer hidden, seems to vanish when I look into his heterochromatic eyes. It all became perfect.....until that all disappeared.

TO BE CONTINUED