Young Royals S3

Chapitre 1

"That was me on the video." After saying these words, I turned to him, I had to look at him, I had to feel his approval through his eyes. He had a worried look on his face, I gave him a smile. This is what I had to do, I am sure of myself, I want to be with you. That's what I wanted him to feel through my smile. After long seconds, he smiled back at me. The same feeling that I experienced a few minutes before, when we were in the corridors of Hillerska, takes hold of me. A feeling of relief, warmth and euphoria. I love you and I trust you, that's what he is trying to tell me with his smile. I feel unstoppable, confident and determined. I want to be with him. I turn to the camera: "Hillerska is our light. Happy jubilee". There was nothing more to say. By admitting that it was me on the video, I wanted him to know that I was ready to be with him and ready to face the consequences, even if it meant that the whole world would be interested in me, even if it meant that I would have to put up with everyone's opinions about my sexuality, that I would have to give up the throne to my cousin who had betrayed me in the worst way. If putting up with this is the price I have to pay to be with him, I am willing to take it. Nothing could be worse than life without him. I was forced to try and it was unbearable. The waking up in the morning with my heart clenching and the urge to vomit before I even set foot on the floor. The stomach twisting when I see him with Marcus, when I hear about Marcus, when I imagine him with Marcus. The feeling of dying when he refuses my attempts to get closer. The time he told me he didn't want to be anyone's secret and then the time he admits he doesn't want to talk to me anymore and I felt my heart slip away. I don't want to feel those feelings anymore. I want to feel the feeling of absolute well-being when I'm next to him, the warm feeling that takes over my body when he kisses me, the electricity in my belly when we make love. This is what I want and I'm sure of it. 

At this moment, my only desire is to join him, to take his hand and to leave, to leave them all amazed by what they are witnessing. But I know that would make Simon uncomfortable and from now on, his feelings will be my only priority. So I decide to put my speech cards back in my pocket, put my jacket and tie back on, and head to my seat next to my mom. Surprisingly, silence. Not a sound from the cameras, no hubbub or murmuring. Only raised phones and stunned looks. I walk over and meet my mother's eyes. It wasn't a look of anger or amazement but a look of disappointment. I could feel the disappointment in her eyes. It was painful. I suddenly thought of Erik again. What would he think of what I did? Would he be disappointed too? He would think that this is not worthy of a future king, that I am still rebelling and thinking only of myself. Panic takes hold of me. Have I done the right thing? Have I gone too far? I sit down and immediately look at Simon. He has not left the smile on his face. I immediately feel relaxed, my heart beats normally again and I come to my senses. Looking at him I tell myself thatI made the right choice. I am sure I did.