The Brothers and I - Book 1

Chapter 47

If I had the power to turn back time and redo a couple of things in life, I would have done so in that very moment as we walked to the pack hall with Thomas at my side. The endorphin rush had begun to subside, taking with it the last of any positive feeling that lingered deep within. Now, all that remained was a vacuum of emptiness and pain.

I turned to glimpse at the man who held my arm in his, looking stoic and reserved, a far cry from the charming and outgoing person that I had met months ago. Things had certainly changed between us and not necessarily for the best. In fact, it had been over ten days since I had last seen him. His anger then, had been explosive when he met Liam and I at the cabin after our trip to the head office. He had acted out before taking off in the direction of the packhouse.

And just like that, I was left in the dark for the umpteenth time, alone, anxious and worried for his safety while also having to battle through my own demons. I couldn't even recall the last time we had actually sat down and had a conversation. When did it all change?

Looking at him now, there was just so much that I wanted to say, so much that I wanted to ask but my tongue felt heavy, trapping the words in my mouth. How was I to even begin trying to close this rift between us? Should I start with the obvious? His unexplained disappearances, the limp that he now sported or him pretending that I wasn't at his side? Or should I scream at him for leaving me on my own, for never being there when it counted and abandoning me to face every problem alone? Or should I confess to what had happened between Liam and I or focus on our future in London?

But such turmoil proved to be in vain when a darker, more disturbing question surfaced from my subconscious mind, sobering me instantly - Did I even want to? Did I really want this to work?

I glanced at Thomas again, my mind a whirlpool of doubt, resentment and sadness. But those thoughts immediately took a back seat when I noticed him wincing, his limp more pronounced now that I was close. Fuck Alex! What has he done now? Despite feeling like I had lost the right to feel anything for Thomas, on account of my failure to have remained loyal to him, I couldn't help but feel concern for his wellbeing.

I may be many things but I was no monster.

"Thomas, are you-"

But my words were abruptly cut off as I tripped, the long train of my dress catching under something behind me. Grabbing onto Thomas's arm reflexively, I steadied myself just in time before whirling around to see what had happened.

A shiny shoe held the train of my dress in place, the owner glowering in my direction.

"Shut up human..."

Our party of ten halted at Alpha Nicholas's words, eyes turning around to witness my humiliation.

"...speak again and I will have your mate rip out your throat."

My breaths shallowed, palms growing sweaty at the sheer violence in his voice. And if that wasn't enough, not a single person, mate or otherwise came to my defence. My cheeks and ears grew hot with embarrassment.

But even in the depths of such indignity, something became very apparent. I had been a fool for ever thinking that leaving with the Alpha would be an escape, when in reality, I was merely exchanging one prison for another. There would be no relief, no comfort and no escape, irrespective of where I was going to be.

I was totally and utterly doomed.

My throat dried at the stark realisation. A sinking feeling drowned out the background as my head spun, first in shock then in disbelief. This cant be happening to me. It can't...But another look at the impassionate faces that stared in my direction only served to confirm the truth.