Treat You Better

Chapter 7

Kojiro's heart sank at what he saw behind the bedroom door.

Kaoru locked eyes with him only for a moment, before abashedly looking down at the floor. A torn up Kaoru was sitting on his bed, hair spilling over his shoulders in long strands, glasses slid all the way down his nose, his robe hanging off his torso loosely, and tears in his eyes.

"Kaoru," Kojiro started softly.

"No, please..." Kaoru interrupted, embarrassment reddening his cheeks.

Kojiro took a step towards his disheveled friend, reaching out his hand to touch his shoulder and offer comfort and warmth. But Kaoru put up his hand, silently asking him to stop.

It broke Kojiro's heart to stand there and watch the man he loves cry all alone, but he obeyed Kaoru's wishes.

After what felt like an eternity, Kaoru took a big breath in, and spoke. "Kojiro, I'm so lost. I'm confused, I'm hurting and don't know what I feel." He got out with shaky breath. He looked up towards Kojiro, and was taken aback by the tears forming in the corners of his deep maroon eyes.

Kojiro couldn't take seeing Kaoru like this. It devastated him to his core. Despite Kaoru's hand warning him to stay away, Kojiro moved to sit next to Kaoru. He gazed at him deeply, a small tear spilling down his cheek. He raised his arms but hesitated. Kaoru looked at him, then back down at his lap, and broke.

Kaoru dove into Kojiro's arms, and let it all out. Too many thoughts and feelings were overloading his brain and it was now forcing it way out through sobs and tears. Nothing made sense after Adam broke his heart, and he was dying for any kind of steadiness and sureness.

Kojiro embraced him, keeping out all the hurt surrounding his love only allowing comfort and warmth in.

"It's okay, Kaoru, I'm here." Kojiro cooed.

"I just don't know how to feel," Kaoru started. "I mean, I just..." He tried to speak but a cry choked out instead.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. We don't need to talk. We can just... lay here," Kojiro said gently, moving his arm to pat down on the bed.

Kaoru nodded weakly, and Kojiro laid down on his back, sitting up slightly against the headboard. Kaoru followed suit and let his head fall onto his best friend's chest. Kojiro slipped his glasses off his face and put them on the night stand next to him. He began to run his fingers through Kaoru's cherry blossom locks and swept the strands out of his eyes so he could lay in peace.

Slowly and belabored, Kaoru's heart beat slowed and his breathing steadied. In Kojiro's arms he felt vulnerable but safe, protected by Kojiro, just like when they were younger.

Kojiro also calmed down, satisfied with his ability to soothe Kaoru. His best friend feeling better was the only thing he could have wished for. Soft moonlight streamed in through the blinds and the two began to dose off.

Just before Kojiro succumbed to his exhaustion, he checked to see that Kaoru was asleep, and whispered "Good night, Kaoru." In that moment he wanted nothing more than to kiss him gently on his forehead as he laid peacefully on his chest, but refrained. He didn't know why Kaoru was confused, but he knew he didn't want to do anything that could potentially make him more confused. Kaoru needed time, and Kojiro loved him enough to give him that. After all, he's waited this long. 

...

Kojiro's eyes fluttered open and adjusted to the soft morning light that filled the bedroom. As he looked around, he felt completely at peace. Birds tweeted softly outside in the Cherry tree by the window, little particles of dust glittered in the sunbeams, and Kaoru's body gently rose and fell on his chest. 

Kaoru was laying on his chest. 

Kojiro was shocked. He remembered falling asleep with him last night, but through all the stress of Kaoru's panic attack it never dawned on him exactly the situation he was in. The man he had loved for years and years was sleeping peacefully on him. They were laying together, cuddling on a Friday morning.  He was mad at himself. He specifically didn't want to do anything that threatened his friendship with Kaoru, and at a time when he was so hurt by love he didn't want present his own unless Kaoru wanted it. 

Kaoru.

He was beautiful. His long lashes gently brushed the tops of his cheeks and a soft rosy glow dusted his nose and cheekbones. His silky hair was strewn all about Kojiro's arm and the pillows. His hand clutched preciously to the thin white shirt Kojiro has worn over. The robe Kaoru was wearing last night had slipped off his torso giving Kojiro a peek at his figure, pale and perfectly toned. He felt a heat rise in his cheeks. What am I thinking. He scolded himself. 

Kojiro took a deep breath in, and took a snapshot in his memory. He didn't want to forget this image, not ever. He didn't know if he'd ever see this again. But God, did he hope he would.

An hour passed (not that it mattered to Kojiro, this time was heaven to him) and Kaoru began to stir. He let out a soft moan, yawned, and outstretched one of his arms before he opened his eyes.

"Mmhn..." Kaoru let out, gently rubbing his hand over Kojiro's chest. "Good morning Ko- KOJIRO?" He nearly jumped out of the bed. "What- you came... I was... oh, I'm so sorry..."

"Wait, wait, Kaoru, slow down, and don't apologize!" Kojiro said tentatively, not wanting to stress him out again.

"Last night, I was, oh God, I was crying when you came, and I was..."

"Yeah... When I came over you didn't answer so I let myself in... And I just... I couldn't let you cry alone." Kojiro reached out and brushed a few strands of hair out of Kaoru's face, his hand naturally falling to Kaoru's cheek. He was trembling. "Kaoru, I- are you... Okay?" He asked gently.

Kaoru drew a deep breath, and softly nudged his face into Kojiro's hand, lifting one of his own to hold it there. It felt so comforting, and like exactly what he needed to feel in that moment. He looked up at the man he had known his whole life, and saw him clearly for perhaps the first time.