Bold and Brave

Chapter 2: Troubled

When you came home yesterday and didn't find Byulyi's shoes by the door for the fifth day in a row, your heart sank a little deeper than it had before. Until that moment, you had never really contemplated the possibility that she might not want to move in with you, taking comfort in the fact that the keys weren't on the table; but yesterday, the empty spot by the door had started gnawing at you, and you'd been left to wonder what was causing Byul to hesitate so much.

You know Byul loves you; not because she tells you, although she does, but because of all the little things that speak so much louder than words. The way her eyes light up like the first time when she hasn't seen you for a few days, or a few hours; the way she stares at your lips when you're in public because she wants to kiss you for no particular reason; the way her hand reaches out protectively when she hits the brakes too hard; the way she walks one step ahead of you in a crowd to make sure no one bumps into you; the way she always packs any leftover food you've made because it makes her cruiser feel like home for a few minutes. She loves you, of this you have no doubt; but she is afraid. Of what, you can only guess, and you don't dare ask her because fear is not something a person in her line of work likes to admit to.

And because you're afraid, too.

You've seen enough mangled bodies in the back of your ambulance to know that cars are lethal weapons, that domestic disputes can turn deadly in the blink of an eye, and that despair can lead people to commit the most despicable acts of savagery; and in the midst of it all are the cops who must somehow handle these situations without losing their lives or their sanity. Among those cops is Byulyi, whose life is more precious to you than any of the lives you've worked so hard to save in the five years you've been a paramedic.

Even that kid who was fished out of the Han river, and whom you had begged to breathe as Wheein and you tried to reanimate him.

Or that woman who had been raped and beaten so brutally, she could barely speak her own name. But how she had cried, holding your hand so tightly, it had felt as if she'd had a death grip on your heart.

So many lives you have fought so hard to preserve, each one leaving an indelible mark on your soul; yet you would trade any of them in a heartbeat for Byul's, if those lives were yours to give and Byul was taken from you.

Every hour she is not with you is an hour during which you could get that dreadful call from her partner or her superior, telling you that something has happened to her. Every night you sleep on your own is a night she might never come back to you. Those were things you had known when you had first laid eyes on her; when she had approached you and handed you her business card; when you had found an excuse to call her and she had invited you to dinner; when you had let her kiss you and she had not let things go further until you had been dating for a month; and when she had finally dropped her guard and you had gotten a glimpse of the soul that lay bare behind her tough exterior. You had known those things, yet you had been powerless to resist her. And you would do it all again if you could go back in time and start over.

She is the one you want to spend the rest of your days and nights with; and she's the only one who can stop it from happening.

You realize with a start that it's time for you to leave for work. You grab your keys and make sure your phone is fully charged, then head out the door. Another day, another life needing saving.

The drive to the station is uneventful, but things start going wrong as soon as you enter the garage. You find your partner arguing with the manager, who quickly dismisses her when he sees you approaching. Your partner clenches her fists, then storms off, and you break into a jog to catch up with her.

"Wheein, hold up!" you call out to her.

She whirls around, face flushed from her rising anger, but her expression softens a bit as soon as she catches sight of you. "I'd say good morning if this day wasn't already a disaster."