This isn't a love story

Chapter 1

I used to think we get to have 3 kinds of love throughout our life. The first one, is the innocent one, your first love when you get to experience everything for the first time in your life. It usually happens in your teenage years, you meet this person at school, or through some friends, and suddenly it's like your whole life is about them. It's so pure and special, the feeling of meeting someone new for the first time, know and learn about them, what they love, what they hate...Learn about yourself, how you react to certain things, and how you love. You spent every minute together, and if there's a day you don't, it feels like torture. You actually believe that you are living a fairytale and that you will be with this person for the rest of your life. 

This first kind of love becomes part of your personality as you grow, it shows you what type of things triggers you, introduces you to your first fights, and leaves behind some small but important damage. It's heartbreaking when it ends, makes you feel like your life has no meaning, you have no one around you, and suddenly, you wake up one day and laugh to yourself about how dramatic you were being when you stayed in bed for three days in a row, crying and saying you would never love anyone else in the entire world. You recover from it by going out every night, drinking until you pass out, spending days with your friends...

Then you have the love of your life. This person enters your life as a way of replacing the one before, you weren't trying to meet someone, they just popped up in your way. And it's amazing. It's a breeze of fresh air, a new taste on your tongue, and makes your body shiver each time they touch you. You have now learned your boundaries, you've learned that is ok to say no to things you don't agree with or you don't want to do. This person makes you feel like the most beautiful creature on Earth. You find yourself staring at them and asking 'what will I do if you leave?'. It feels so right and so mature, that even if the whole world was against the two of you, you wouldn't mind running away until the end of the world with them. 

But that's where I messed up things when I confused this second love with the third one - the one that you are meant to be until you die. 

I mean, I was only 18 when I reached to that conclusion, maybe a three-year relationship hadn't been ideal for a teenager to experience, causing my whole personality to be based on Mia's personality.

I've meet Mia when I was 16. She went to my school, and we were in different classes, but each time that girl walked into the same room I was in, my heart would stop, my eyes would freeze on her and it felt like time was a made-up concept that people invented to keep us occupied. She was the first person I said 'I love you' and the best part was that she loved me back. How could someone love me back? 

But it didn't work out. Mia met someone who was better for her, and in a minute my whole life crumbled, through a simple text.

"I don't think this is going to work anymore. I've met someone"

I'm not gonna lie, it felt like someone was ripping my heart out of my chest as I re-read the text over and over again and asked myself if I did something wrong. But I didn't get any answers. And of course, by the logic of the three loves, I drowned myself in parties, drinks, and a little bit of weed every now and then. It was forbidden to be alone for more than 30 minutes or my head would burst with thoughts that were simply wrong and cruel. 

And that's where she showed up. Shuri. The fresh breeze of air I needed and didn't even know it, the warmth of the sun beating up my face on a winter morning. 

"Look I really need to go get another drink" I yelled at Zoe who leaned in a little closer.

I had convinced her to come to a college party at our campus to see a live band we'd seen more than 4 times. The drinks were cheap and after a while, she agreed stating that someone needed to take care of me.

"I think you've had enough" she chuckled grabbing my arm as my body lost its strength for a brief second.

"Now...C'mon" I smirked "Don't be a buzzkill"

Zoe frowned her eyebrows at me trying to hold back a laugh before grabbing my face "I actually have a friend working at the bar" 

"Really?" I raised my eyebrows at her "Is she hot?" Zoe simply nodded her let letting a sigh out of her lips, as I ran my tongue over my lips "Let's go!" 

I locked my fingers on hers as she guided me through the crowd, my eyes focused on the floor trying my best not to trip, and fell down on my face. I could feel the sweaty bodies skimming against mine, some drops of alcohol dripping on my t-shirt before Zoe stopped in front of the brown counter and wandered around everyone behind it.

"Shuri!" She called waving her arm up in the air.

I squeezed my eyes trying to focus my sigh, as my chest suddenly lost all of its air when I finally saw her. She was tall, her dark skin made her eyes pop out and her lips were tinted with a special shade of light pink while she smiled at Zoe letting her head fall back and her eyes roll up to the back of her head. 

My stomach twirl a little while she slowly made her way up to us, I would never be able to pull her off. She was out of my league. 

"Shuri. This is Y/N" Zoe smirked at me.

"Nice to meet you Y/N" The girl said running her tongue over her lips and stretching her hand over to me to shake.

"Hi" I felt my voice disappearing.

"Do you girls want some drinks?" She asked quickly glancing at Zoe who had an amused look in her eyes.

"Yeah...sure" I tried to keep my voice still feeling my lower lip trembling a little.

Shuri turned her back to us, my eyes tracing every inch of her body before feeling Zoe's eyes stuck on me.

"Did you just freeze?" she chuckled making me roll up my eyes.

"No!" I shook my head.

"I think you did..." she laughed wrapping her arm around my shoulders.

"I did not. I'm going to show you how it's done" I smirked at her before taking a deep breath.

I breathed out, slightly shaking my body and convincing myself that even if she turned me back, I wouldn't die, it wouldn't hurt. Shuri came back, her hands holding two cups of beer as she put them down on the counter and glanced over at me again.

"Is there anything else you need?" she asked tilting her head a little.

"Actually...I was thinking... I would really like to have your number...you know? Just in case of needing some more beer in the next few days..." I confidently said staring into her eyes.

Shuri opened her mouth as a smirk appeared on her lips, looking at Zoe who stood still with a shocked look in her eyes.

"How can I say no to that?"