Heartbeating snow

Chapter 7

When the sun had not yet risen in the desert, Amir woke Xin and handed him a weapon.

"What is this?" he asked in disorientation, not quite sure how to hold the cold metal object.

"You don't want it?" Amir said, much more serious than the night before.

When Xin shook his head, the man retrieved the gun and began to handle it like an expert, briefly explaining the simple mechanics behind the act of firing.

"Are you sure? It's not complicated, you just have to make sure you take the safety off before you shoot, and that's it," he demonstrated how to do it. "Just aim as best you can, and then you shoot."

"No, thank you. I'm fine..."

Amir looked at him blankly.

"As you wish," he sighed, "now get ready, we leave in ten minutes."

And so it was. Ten minutes later, Ava dismissed them with a distant wave of her hands as the two joined the road equipped with everything they would need for the journey. Xin rode alongside Amir, accompanied by another group of men in the back of a rickety Jeep. Three vehicles formed a hurried caravan into the heart of the Kavir desert --- the great salt lands.

Silence was contemplated for most of the journey. All Xin could think of were the prying eyes of the armed men, who all watched him curiously. Everyone was heavily armed with pistols, grenades and rifles, on which they rested their heads lazily, evidently used to the uncomfortable feel of the weapon against their skin. Some of them made comments in Farsi from time to time, which made Xin rather nervous.

"It's not what you're thinking," Amir interjected, passing him a canteen of water.

The heat had become more intense in the last few minutes.

"I'm not thinking anything," Xin lied, receiving the canteen.

"Yes, you are. I can see it in your eyes," his bodyguard replied, gesturing with his hands over his temple. "I can see the gears in your little head working and overheating from the sun. And that's why I'm telling you it's not what you're thinking..."

"Okay, so I'm not crossing the desert in a caravan full of criminals."

At first, Amir didn't answer; he merely smiled bitterly. For almost a minute there was a tense silence in the air. Xin watched the desert dust rise behind them and form a trail behind the caravan. Amir kept his eyes on Xin watching that, but after a sigh, he averted his gaze.

"I don't know what it's like where you live, but...," Amir resumed without looking at Xin. "Here, to be born with hopeful eyes is a sin, or a crime punishable by death..."

A bitter laugh left his chest and, once again, he rested his brown eyes on Xin.

"Shit, everything here is paid with your death..."

Xin turned around.

"Hopeful eyes?"

"It's like we tell magic. Parents know if their children will have the gift because when they're born, the iris in the baby's pupils takes on a bright, strange colour, alien to any known natural one. In the past it used to be a sign of fortune and fulfilled dreams, or at least it was so for our ancestors. Today it's a sign of terror, of uncertain futures, of a life in the shadows. But, even so, we have never stopped calling it hopeful eyes...".

As he said it, Amir's brown eyes had turned dangerous and sad. Xin felt terrible.

"Amir, I don't..."

"The truth is, these men cannot stop seeing you because you're curious," Amir continued, interrupting him. "You're someone who's willingly running in the direction of a place we all dream of escaping from, and you do it even though you're not from here, where most of us were born, because --- well, that's something we all can tell just by looking you in the eyes, Xin. Do you understand? That's why they talk about you. You're weird."