The Blue In Your Eyes

The story

"What do you mean find your boyfriend?" Matthew asked.
"Yeah, did he run away?" Grant Shelby winked at me. He fucking winked. A knife in the eye would stop the winking. I did not throw anything. Of course. I just sighed.

"He is a missing person, has been for the last five years."
"Missing... Like he just disappeared." I had the attention of both men. Even Grant Shelby looked really interested for once.
"Yes, and no... " I cleared my throath. Why was I telling them this? They where not my friends. The where not even a shade of friends. Hell, I knew why. I was lonely, I needed to talk to someone. I needed to talk about Oliver. As a way of keeping him alive.
He. Was. A. Live.
"Oliver is a biologist... and he is very interested in ensuring sustainable food for the next generations." Just one of the many things that showed what a wonderful man Oliver was. He cared about everything. People, animals, plants.
"He was researching a special kind of leaves in the amazon jungle when he disappeared."
"In Colombia?" Grant Shelby looked actually shocked.
"Yes, in Colombia. He went out on his own from the camp, and he just never came back."
I knew the look on their faces. Everybody had that specific look, when I told them the story.
"He is not dead! He has not been eaten by a giant snake, or drowned in the mud. He did not eat anything poisonous... he just lost his way." Words to angry - to defensive.

He could not be dead. I would know it, if he was dead.
"Jesus, I had no idea. They didn't find any trace of him... at all?" Matthew asked.
"No, not a thread from his shirt, not a shoe... nothing." I paused. "There has been a lot of search teams looking for him. Dogs and soldiers. Local people. Even a couple of clairvoyants... But with no luck.. And now it is five years ago, and they have officially closed the investigation."
"Arh, so you need to fund your own private investigation." Grant Shelby was so serious.
"Yes, nobody else wants to." I pressed my lips together. I would not defend my choices.
"Maybe there is a reason for that," Grant Shelby mumbled.
"Did you look for him - did you go to Colombia?"

I took a deep breath. Dinner was served. The waitress smiled at Matthew, but he eyes were on me. Like I was a dinosaur or something exotic.
"Yes," I answered his question. "I was in Colombia for six months, trying to organize search parties, trying to get some attention to the case." It had been six long month full of crying and desperation. And still they past so quickly, and I had to leave. Without Oliver. Without the only man I had ever loved.

"So your salary, you are saving it for another trip?"
"Well maybe. It is more important that I can pay some locals to search for him. Pay them for doing a job. It is expensive." I had literally spend every dime on the search for Oliver. I was broke. That was the only reason I would take such a completely stupid job as a Personal Assistant to a drunk-ass movie-star.
"What about his family can they not help with ... everything."
"They are out of money and options, just like me." I started eating the french fries.  "I think they gave up a year ago."
"Maybe it was the smart thing to do," was that kindness in Grant Shelbys voice. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Giving up on someone you love, does that sound like a possibility for you?"
"Well, honey, I have given up on everything and everyone in my live."
"Oh and how is that working for you?"
"Like a charm, I must say. "Grant Shelby emptied another drink, and Matthew looked confused from his dad to me.
"I don't get this game you two are playing... So how much money do you need to resume the search?
"All the money I can get."