*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Hazel: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Goodone: ...I did. I broke it.
Hazel: No. No you didn't. Randy?
Randy: Don't look at me. Look at Crisiant.
Crisiant: What?! I didn't break it.
Randy: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Crisiant: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Randy: Suspicious.
Crisiant: No, it's not!
Leo: If it matters, probably not, but Mya was the last one to use it.
Mya: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Leo: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Mya: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Leo!
Goodone: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Hazel.
Hazel: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Leo: Hazel... Randy's been awfully quiet.
Randy: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Hazel, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Hazel: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Hazel:
Hazel: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Hazel: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Goodone: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents
Hazel: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Randy: Actually I did the math, Goodone would have $225, not $0.15.
Goodone: Fam I'm right here....
Crisiant: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Hazel: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Crisiant: Sorry I only have a dollar
Hazel: :(
Randy: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Goodone would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Crisiant: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Randy: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Leo: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Randy: Apply juice to what
Mya: Directly to the forehead
Goodone: Great chat everyone
Hazel, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Goodone: Hey.
Randy: Hi.
Crisiant: Hello.
Leo: Hey!
Hazel: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Mya: We were out of Doritos.
*The group is getting into the car*
Hazel: I'm driving.
Goodone, out of view: Shotgun!
Randy, turning to face Goodone: Aww! But you had it on the way here-
Everyone except Goodone: WOAH-
Goodone, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*
Hazel: How's the sexiest person here~?
Goodone: I don't know, how are they~?
Hazel, flustered: I-
Randy, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!
Hazel: What do you think Goodone will do for a distraction?
Randy: They'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Randy: ... or they could do that.
Hazel: Goodone, keep an eye on Randy today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Goodone: Sure, I'd love to see Randy get punched.
Hazel: Try again.
Goodone, sighing: I will stop Randy from getting punched.
Hazel: What time is it?
Goodone: I don't know; pass me that saxophone and we'll find out
Goodone: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Randy: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Goodone: It's 2 am
Hazel: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste
Goodone: We got spring water
Hazel: NO.
Randy: with EXTRA minerals
Goodone: it's like licking a stalagmite
Hazel: DON'T COME HOME.
Randy: Mmmmm cave water
Hazel: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
Goodone: *turning to Randy* How tall are you?
Hazel: Here's a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Goodone: Hazel no.
Randy: Mistlefoe.
Goodone: Please stop encouraging them.
Hazel: If Goodone and I were drowning, who would you save?
Randy: You two can't swim?
Goodone: It's a hypothetical question, Randy! who would you save?
Randy: my time and effort.
