Some kind of way - Hyunho

Harsh words mean nothing to me....

"Again!" Minho commanded, his eyes dark and his face twisted in a frown.

Hyunjin sighed in disappointment and went back to his position.

It was a couple of weeks after their fun and not-so discreet confession. The two dancers were practicing alone in the dance practice room for the upcoming Oddinary comeback. Minho was appointed to make sure Hyunjin, who had been busy with the unit rap song Muddy water, would learn the choreography perfectly since the two of them had to be in center for the chorus part. It was supposed to be Felix and Minho for the center but the poor sunshine had had a bad crash in the dance studio a week ago. He had tripped on the spinning move and injured his back quite badly.

So, needless to say, he was advised to stay out of the dance. It was a heartbreaking moment. Felix had cried hard that night after all the members had united in 3Racha+Hyunjin's dorm. He felt like a loser. It was not a surprise though. Ever since Hyunjin's hiatus, the younger members had been extra sensitive and cautious of their actions, while the elder ones had been more resilient. Felix's accident drove the others to be more careful and hardworking so as to not ruin their already spoiled comeback.

Which was why Hyunjin was alone with Minho in the dance practice room, polishing his moves to be good enough for center.

It was one of those days where Hyunjin just couldn't seem to get the moves right. He forgot his placement during the pre-chorus due to the change in the choreography. Then he tripped twice during the spin part. He pulled a muscle in his shoulder while spinning his head during chorus, and the last straw was almost twisting his ankle while dragging his feet.

He saw the frustration and annoyance oozing out of Minho. He couldn't blame him though. They had been in there the entire day fixing the choreography appropriately for the members' charms. It was getting late in the evening and they hadn't had lunch. And Hyunjin was nowhere near the perfection he was expected to show. He was angry at his own incompetent tries, wanting to rip out his hair out in frustration.

"Hwang Hyunjin, I don't know what is going on with you today, but if you don't sort yourself out within the next 15 minutes, I will leave you on your own." Minho voice was low and chilling as he harshly ran a hand through his hair and exited the practice room furiously. The door closed after him hard and Hyunjin hung his head in shame.

Some dancer he is.....

Exhausted with the day's long practice, the boy tied back his sweaty hair and collapsed on the floor, leaning on the mirror behind him. He stared off into the distance, feeling his emotions swirling dangerously in his stomach. He was not willing to cry though. Instead he tried to harden himself up.

He understood the stress Minho was holding up, and he sympathized with the older. Afterall, he was the one taking care of the injured sunshine. He was supposed to be back home in the afternoon to spend some time with Felix since everyone else was now schedule bound. He had to make sure Felix was recovering well and taking his meds and physio exercises, but instead he was stuck in the dance room with Hyunjin to teach the younger.

It broke Hyunjin's heart to see Minho in so much stress. The older seemed way too tensed these days. How drastically could someone change within a couple of weeks....

He knew Minho wasn't mad at him. If he was correct, it seemed like Minho was mad at himself for not being a competent teacher to his own dongsaeng. This was a huge complex of every Stray Kids' member. They blamed themselves way too much. It was easier to beat themselves up than expect people to comfort you.

Nevertheless, Hyunjin was slightly hurt by the anger Minho was showing him. It wasn't his fault that his body and luck didn't seem to be cooperating with him. He rested his head against the cool mirror, feeling the emotions bubbling up in his chest.

This was such a disaster. Jeongin was having difficulties matching the pitch of Lonely St. Jisung was having difficulties with Venom's rap and Hyunjin was messing up Maniac's choreography. Felix was unstable and Minho and Chan were drowning in stress and workload. They had to start the Music Video filming in a few days and they still weren't done with the final recordings.

Hyunjin closed his eyes and breathed out, feeling his eyes wet and his hand starting to shake. He could already see the numerous comments about him being a wobbly dancer and that thought scared him. He wouldn't be able to handle it if he messed up this comeback. A lot of damage was already done with his hiatus, no more drama.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he never heard the door opening and closing. A few seconds later a soft hand patted his head. Hyunjin jerked upright and found himself staring right into Minho's worried eyes. The elder scanned his face carefully and Hyunjin was glad that he hadn't cried.

"I am sorry." Minho spoke softly, breaking the eye contact in regret and looking away.

"Its fine, hyung. We are all stressed right now." Hyunjin was quick to reassure him, smiling slightly to show that he really was okay. Minho didn't seem convinced though. He looked around, seemingly restless before getting up and walking away.

That left Hyunjin confused.

"Hyung, are you okay?" He inquired, nearing the now purple-haired man. Minho lowered his head and nodded slightly, making Hyunjin sigh.

"I don't think either of us are in the mood for lies, hyung. What's wrong?"

"Nothing..... Everything...." Minho whispered, trying desperately to stop his hands from shaking. He jerked them vigorously in frustration and that alarmed Hyunjin a lot. He had never seen his hyung so.... insecure and unreliable....

Minho looked like he was in a frantic state of depression .

"Hyung.... " Hyunjin hugged the elder to calm him down. This has happened way too much with Jisung who was suffering from anxiety, so Hyunjin knew how to handle such mental instability.

Still, Minho's predicament shook Hyunjin to his bones. He, or the others for that matter, had never expected Minho's anxiety and insecurity to be so strong that it could break the dancer's resolve.

They stayed like that for a few minutes as the older calmed down, wrapping his own arms around the younger's waist and resting his forehead against his shoulder.

"I am so sorry Jinnie." He whispered "Not only did I waste your entire day and energy, but also snapped at you......" He trailed off, detaching himself from Hyunjin and looking at him in the eye.

"I failed to take care of Felix today, couldn't help you in dance and was also a prick. I am really sorry. You didn't deserve that. Everyone has their own bad days, I refused to acknowledge yours."

"Hyung, its fine, really. Your harsh words mean nothing to me, because I know they can protect me from the real harshness of the world. And don't beat yourself so much for this. You are doing your best, just like all of us." It burned Hyunjin's heart to see the shattered look in Minho's eyes, as if he had lost something in himself.

He couldn't understand what had happened in the last week to make Minho look so devastated and tired of life, but he was determined to find out and make everything right for him.

That's how deep Hyunjin's heart yearned for Lee Minho....