The Walking Dead Eye For An Eye: Trilogy

I'll Be Fine

(Violet's Pov)

I was sitting with Clem and Minerva behind my home. I gripped Clem's shirt tightly and I just keep my head to the side still looking at the garden and took a deep breath. I'm trying to calm myself down in any way I can and Clementine would rub my back gently as I take a few shaky breaths.

"Violet?" Minerva asked.

"I once... took a man over to the wall in Joan's community... she was watching me as I did this... put his head close to the fence where a Walker almost bit his cheek off." I tell them.

"Vi-."

"I was just trying to scare him, and she was watching... making sure I was... doing what I was told." I tell them.

"What did he do to deserve that?" Minerva asked.

"He was planning to get the people together to attack Joan and the higher ups... which included me and... I just... I didn't like that either but..." I tried to speak and I stopped.

"What happened?" Clementine asked.

"I scared him, he begged to live... kept begging but I didn't like that... that he was begging when he was so gung-ho about killing others... anyway I kept pushing his face closer and closer to the Walker as it snapped at him just... scaring him... I felt as if it was ok, that what I was doing was right and... I guess I was a monster." I mutter.

"I wouldn't say you were a monster-."

"I let the Walker bite him... I put his fingers through the fence and they bit them off... guy kept screaming asking me to cut his hand before the stuff spread but I didn't I let him go and he dropped to the ground holding his hand begging me to cut his hand but I didn't." I tell them.

"What did you do then?" Minerva asked.

"Walkers grabbed him from the fence trying to bite him but he pulled away and I pointed my gun at him as he tried to get away... put my foot to his chest and pushed him back into the fence where a Walker was able to rip his other arm off, their hand was able to go through the fence I mean part of the fence was broken... I couldn't look at him even after he told me to look at him as I killed him... I thought I was doing right; he was going to hurt me but I got the upper hand." I tell them and I take another breath.

"When I was bashing Joan's head in with the bat, I thought I was doing good but I keep seeing her... like right now." I mutter and looked down.

"You see her now?" Clem asked and I nod a little.

"Where?" Minerva asked.

"She's just... standing in the garden... head busted open from the first two whacks." I tell them.

"She's not here." Clem whispered.

"I see her." I say quietly.

"I know you do but that's your brain playing tricks on you." She tells me.

"Why though?" I asked.

"Not sure... not a therapist." Clem says and I chuckled quietly.

"Enlighten me." I say.

"Maybe you feel guilt for killing her?" Clem asked.

"Why should I feel guilt for killing that bitch?" I mutter.

"You shouldn't... but you have questioned it especially to me." Clementine says.

"I don't know much, all I can say is that maybe you feel some form of guilt for killing someone, even if they treated you like that because you think yourself have become a monster just like her?" Minerva asked. I take a breath.